Some People think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?
Wasting
money
on arts
has been a matter of dispute because some people
hold the opinion that it is a wastage
of Correct your spelling
waste
money
because there are so many other important things those
require attention, but Correct pronoun usage
that
unfortunately
huge amount of Add a comma
unfortunately,
money
is paid to the artists who works
in show business and important essentials Change the verb form
work
such
as hospitals, roads, infrasture of buildings in a big cities
with the scarce of land need much more attention and funds. I agree with Correct the article-noun agreement
a big city
big cities
this
view that mindful use of money
is necessary when it comes to using tax
equally for Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
people
welfare.I am going to explain in upcoming paragraphs why spending Change noun form
people's
money
on arts
considered
to be a wastage and Add a missing verb
is considered
there
is Rephrase
why there
need
arises for Add an article
the need
a need
using
Wrong verb form
use
money
on other required amenties
.
Correct your spelling
amenities
Firstly
,why people
feel that money
is not being used properly is that people
of today is
struggling to get the basic Change the verb form
are
neccesities
Correct your spelling
necessities
such
as groceries,bills for electricity and water, commute from one place to another place has become a nightmare for a
Change the article
an
ordinery
Correct your spelling
ordinary
people
because of the inflation rates and their lacking opportunities that comes with roofing around,but on the other side people
who are into arts
are getting telephone figures package which does not seem to be fare for other residents of the country who are paying taxes too.
Secondly
,there are many other factors those
should be discussed as Correct pronoun usage
that
their
are not considered at all by Correct pronoun usage
they
Correct article usage
the goverenment
goverenment
nowadays because Correct your spelling
government
showbusinees
Correct your spelling
showbusiness
show business
is
taking place and Correct subject-verb agreement
are
rights
of common Correct article usage
the rights
people
are overlooked and they are not able to reap the benefit of money
they are paying through taxes which is unfair and need to take into the account,for
example
broads roads needs to build to meet the need as Add the comma(s)
example,
number
of vehicles on the road are increasing day by day which leads to traffic congestion Add an article
the number
as a result
people
have to rush for their jobs and hospitals which need rennovation
and require more staff with proper basic Correct your spelling
renovation
facilties
Correct your spelling
facilities
such
as newly designed beds, machines and sitting area for meals requires microwaves and fridges .
In conclusion, It is the onus of the goverment
to use Correct your spelling
government
people
's money
wisely on important things rather than wasting on
Correct pronoun usage
it on
arts
,which is Correct article usage
the arts
Correct article usage
a wastage
wastage
of time and Replace the word
waste
money
of
Change preposition
for
people
.Submitted by jugnavi139 on
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coherence cohesion
Consider structuring your essay with clear paragraphs for each main point. This will help readers follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Try to provide specific examples to support your points. Examples help to illustrate your arguments and make them more convincing.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly address both sides of the argument if the prompt asks for an extent of agreement or disagreement. This provides a balanced approach to your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps to frame your argument.
task achievement
You've identified logical points about why some people believe that government spending on the arts is wasteful, such as the need for infrastructure and public services.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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