Some prents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys ?
some people believe that giving
toy
to their Fix the agreement mistake
toys
children
will increase their intelegence
. should the Correct your spelling
intelligence
parents
give many toys
to they
Correct pronoun usage
their
children
? some parents
argue that giving books to the children
is more than giving the toys
to the children
. However
, I believe that parent
do not have to give a large number of Fix the agreement mistake
parents
toys
to their children
,
because can Remove the comma
apply
give
Verb problem
have
impact
on Correct article usage
an impact
character
and behaviour of Correct article usage
the character
children
such
as less socialize
Replace the word
socialising
to
their friends. In Change preposition
with
this
essay
I will explain about advantages and disadvantages of Add a comma
essay,
children
having a large number of toys
.
nowadays, parents
tend to give toys
to their children
just because they want their children
can play alone, so many parent
Change to a plural noun
parents
giving
Wrong verb form
give
the
Correct article usage
apply
toys
as much as they can, however
it can Add a comma
however,
give
negative effects Verb problem
have
to
their Change preposition
on
parents
. Firstly
, a child really hard to communicate very well to
people because they only focus on playing with the Change preposition
with
toys
, secondly
, the
Correct article usage
apply
children
will
do not like to read books and prefer to playing some Verb problem
apply
toys
, and it could be dangerous if the toys
is
not safe for Change the verb form
are
children
just because the ingredients of the toys
or there are small toys
and the children
can swallow it, so when the children
playing some toys
the parent have to focus on maintaining it.
on the other hand
, many people buy toys
just because they want to increase their children
Change noun form
children's
ability
and they want their Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
children
only
focus on playing with Fix the infinitive
to only
toys
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
Add an article
a gadget
gadget
.
In conclusion, it is Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
okey
if Correct your spelling
okay
parents
give toys
to their children
, but not to
Replace the word
too
much
because if the Correct quantifier usage
many
children
have a lot of toys
it can give
Verb problem
have
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
to
their Change preposition
on
children
like its
really hard to socialize with other Correct pronoun usage
it
children
, besides
that children
can increase they skill like problem solving
, Add a hyphen
problem-solving
however
Add a comma
however,
thay
will do not like to read books.Correct your spelling
they
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coherence cohesion
Try to organize your essay with clear paragraphs that address specific points in a logical sequence. Improve transitions between ideas to help the reader follow your argument easily.
task achievement
Ensure that all your main points are well supported with relevant examples or explanations. For instance, provide specific examples of toys that encourage or discourage particular behaviors.
task achievement
Improve the grammar and spelling in your essay by carefully proofreading your work before submission. This will help to convey your ideas more clearly and professionally.
coherence cohesion
You introduced the topic and stated your position clearly at the beginning of the essay, which helped set the context.
task achievement
You recognized both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, showing a balanced view which is commendable.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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