Some prents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys ?

some people believe that giving
toy
Fix the agreement mistake
toys
show examples
to their
children
will increase their
intelegence
Correct your spelling
intelligence
. should the
parents
give many
toys
to
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
children
? some
parents
argue that giving books to the
children
is more than giving the
toys
to the
children
.
However
, I believe that
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
do not have to give a large number of
toys
to their
children
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because can
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
impact
Correct article usage
an impact
show examples
on
character
Correct article usage
the character
show examples
and behaviour of
children
such
as less
socialize
Replace the word
socialising
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
their friends. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will explain about advantages and disadvantages of
children
having a large number of
toys
.  nowadays,
parents
tend to give
toys
to their
children
just because they want their
children
can play alone, so many
parent
Change to a plural noun
parents
show examples
giving
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
toys
as much as they can,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
it can
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
negative effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
parents
.
Firstly
, a child really hard to communicate very well
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
people because they only focus on playing with the
toys
,
secondly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
do not like to read books and prefer to playing some
toys
, and it could be dangerous if the
toys
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
not safe for
children
just because the ingredients of the
toys
or there are small
toys
and the
children
can swallow it, so when the
children
playing some
toys
the parent have to focus on maintaining it. 
on the other hand
, many people buy
toys
just because they want to increase their
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
show examples
and they want their
children
only
Fix the infinitive
to only
show examples
focus on playing with
toys
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
show examples
Add an article
a gadget
show examples
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
show examples
. In conclusion, it is
okey
Correct your spelling
okay
if
parents
give
toys
to their
children
, but not
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
because if the
children
have a lot of
toys
it can
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
children
like
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
really hard to socialize with other
children
,
besides
that
children
can increase they skill like
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
thay
Correct your spelling
they
will do not like to read books.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
Try to organize your essay with clear paragraphs that address specific points in a logical sequence. Improve transitions between ideas to help the reader follow your argument easily.
task achievement
Ensure that all your main points are well supported with relevant examples or explanations. For instance, provide specific examples of toys that encourage or discourage particular behaviors.
task achievement
Improve the grammar and spelling in your essay by carefully proofreading your work before submission. This will help to convey your ideas more clearly and professionally.
coherence cohesion
You introduced the topic and stated your position clearly at the beginning of the essay, which helped set the context.
task achievement
You recognized both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, showing a balanced view which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • creativity
  • stimulate
  • imagination
  • creative play
  • motor skills
  • problem-solving
  • independent play
  • self-sufficient
  • overwhelm
  • deep engagement
  • appreciation
  • value
  • scarcity
  • social interaction
  • social development
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