IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graphs below show the subscriptions to mobile and fixed phone lines in four different countries between 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graphs below show the subscriptions to mobile and fixed phone lines in four different countries between 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #graphs #show #subscriptions #phone #lines #four #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The two graphs give information on the number of mobile and landline
phone
Use synonyms
 contracts in four different countries over a
ten year
Add a hyphen
ten-year
show examples
 period, from 2005 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are huge differences in the number of people subscribed to
phone
Use synonyms
 services in these countries, with citizens of the UK and Uruguay having the most
phone
Use synonyms
 connections and India and Eritrea
the
Add a missing verb
having the
show examples
 least. Throughout the period in the
UK
Add a comma
UK,
show examples
 there were more subscriptions to mobile lines, starting at 1.1 per capita rising to 1.2 in 2007 and remaining stable
thereafter
Linking Words
. The country
also
Linking Words
 had the most fixed
phone
Use synonyms
 services by some margin, though
this
Linking Words
 dropped slightly from approximately 58 to 52 lines per hundred people. Meanwhile, in Uruguay, subscriptions to mobile services increased dramatically, surpassing the UK in 2009 before finishing the period at 1.5
while
Linking Words
 the proportion of fixed lines remained
constantly
Change the word
constant
show examples
 at around 0.3 per capita. In India, there were similar numbers of subscriptions to both mobile and
fixed line
Add a hyphen
fixed-line
show examples
 contracts in 2005.
However
Linking Words
, the former rose from around 0.05 to 0.8 per person,
while
Linking Words
 the latter dropped slightly over the decade.
Finally
Linking Words
, despite a slight increase in mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 use, numbers for neither
phone
Use synonyms
 line type rose above 0.05 per capita in Eritrea.
Submitted by az09jimzz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words phone with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: