IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

some students want other extra lectures in university to improve themselves. others believe concentrating only one field is essential discuus both views and give your opinion

There is an ongoing conflict
whether
Change preposition
about whether
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students
Use synonyms
 should choose additional courses when they study
in
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at
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 the university.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon can be regarded as either
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
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 or
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
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 and it
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 be discussed throughout the essay and my opinion will be reflected
the
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in the
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 latter. Taking extra
lectures
Use synonyms
 from other fields in universities enhances
students
Use synonyms
’ skills which means that they expand their information set
while
Linking Words
 studying.
For example
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, engineering
students
Use synonyms
 might add
lectures
Use synonyms
 regarding finance, allowing them to comprehend saving and investment strategies in their professional lives.
That is
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, they become familiar
the
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with the
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 concepts of finance. If a civil engineer is eager to construct a bridge, he or she is going to choose the most appropriate project
that is
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 financially convenient for them.
Moreover
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, those who study economics should get other
lectures
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as politics and psychology, as these domains are linked to the department of economics. Politics gives invaluable insights
about
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into
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 how political incidents like elections affect economic indicators, including inflation and unemployment.
In addition
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, psychology gives a perspective to
students
Use synonyms
 about how attitudes shape the decisions about consumption and saving.
On the other hand
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, some departments require
a
Correct article usage
apply
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solid concentration and commitment, enabling
students
Use synonyms
 to put all their efforts
to
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into
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 a certain field.
For instance
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, the
department
Capitalize word
Department
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 of
law
Capitalize word
Law
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 contains
a
Correct article usage
apply
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profound knowledge
in
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apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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.
Therefore
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,
students
Use synonyms
 who study law solely concentrate on
lectures
Use synonyms
 regarding their domain so as to defend their clients effectively in the future.
Medicine
Correct article usage
The medicine
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 department is
also
Linking Words
 compelling in terms of having lots of mandatory courses compared to other departments. In order to be a doctor with enhanced skills,
students
Use synonyms
 are not supposed to allocate time for other topics. From my perspective, I would say acquiring knowledge about other subjects will surely
beneficial
Add a missing verb
be beneficial
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 for
students
Use synonyms
 who are willing to pursue a great career.
Although
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 it is harsh to apply that method to all departments, it is vital for
students
Use synonyms
 to embrace various
lectures
Use synonyms
. Bearing in mind the aforementioned points, we can draw the conclusion that university
students
Use synonyms
 boost their skills by taking extra
lectures
Use synonyms
although
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 it may be challenging for some
students
Use synonyms
 required to dedicate themselves to their domains.

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coherence cohesion
Consider improving transitional phrases and sentences to enhance logical connections between paragraphs and ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea to improve logical structure further.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are clear and present a well-rounded perspective on the topic.
task achievement
Provides comprehensive ideas supporting both views.
task achievement
Includes relevant and specific examples, such as relating finance to engineering students.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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