IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also caused problems that did not exsit before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

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There is no doubt, that the
Internet
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 has changed the way of dissemination of
information
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.
However
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, it caused some issues
such
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 as the availability of
not
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apply
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correct
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incorrect
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data
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 and
the
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apply
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fraud in the global
network
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. I will observe
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this problems
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this problem
these problems
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 and find ways of solution.
To begin
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 with, as
the
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an
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 issue, which did not exist before, the abundance of false
information
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in
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on
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 the
Internet
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 will be considered.
This
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 is because some people put out fakes, confusing visitors
of
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to
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web sites
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websites
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. Unfortunately, some
polititions
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politicians
 may write fake articles against their opponents deliberately, using consumers of the
Internet
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, who believe in news, as a weapon.
For instance
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, In the place where I
base
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am based
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, several informational
attack
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attacks
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 were organized
to
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on
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the
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apply
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famos
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famous
 social
activist
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activists
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. Fortunately,
this
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types
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type
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 of
issues
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issue
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 could be solved by
creation
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creating
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 the department of correctors
in
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on
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 the
Internet
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.
This
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 agency may control all
data
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 in the global
network
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 and may ban unproved
sourses
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sources
 of
information
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.
Furthermore
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, it is hard to deny, that fraud
in
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on
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 the
Internet
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 has soared. Criminals use modern techs to
still
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steal
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 personal
data
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 and money.
As
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For
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for example
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,
last
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 year
the
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a
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 sum of money was
stollen
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stolen
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 from my bank
accaunt
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account
 because I had
regisrated
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registered
in
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on
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 the Facebook page and
this
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web site
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website
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 had
leakage
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a leakage
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 of
data
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.
Alternitevely
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Alternatively
, if regulation
in
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of
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 the
Internet
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 and
controlling
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control
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 of transactions in banks were more strict, the number of crimes in the global
network
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 would decrease.
Moreover
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, the
uncontrolling
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uncontrolled
 spread of
frauds
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fraud
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 demands relevant regulation and
creation
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the creation
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a
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of a
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number of departments, which will monitor
suspecials
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suspicious
 activities in the global
network
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. In conclusion, I would stick to my opinion, that the most crucial threats of the
internet
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 are financial crimes because it leads to
economical
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economic
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 damage and wide spreading of false
information
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. To ameliorate
this
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 situation, authorities should create
agiencies
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agencies
 of correctors and governments should make the regulation of the
Internet
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 more strict.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by giving each paragraph a clear main idea and providing supporting details without digressing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Keep sentences concise and directly related to your main points. Avoid lengthy and complex constructions that may confuse the reader.
Task Response
Be mindful of using clear and diverse examples that directly relate to the points you are discussing. This can strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
Task Response
Ensure your ideas are clearly presented by avoiding vague language. Use precise terminology to articulate your thoughts.
General English
Work on reducing grammatical errors to improve clarity. This involves paying attention to tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines the transformation caused by the internet and sets up the problems for discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and offers suggestions, aligning well with the introduction.
Task Response
The essay fully addresses the task by identifying and discussing problems related to the internet, while also suggesting solutions.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • dissemination
  • misinformation
  • digital literacy
  • credible
  • falsehoods
  • cybersecurity
  • hacking
  • identity theft
  • financial fraud
  • protocols
  • privacy concerns
  • data protection
  • regulations
  • consent
  • mental health
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • online habits
  • mindful use
  • user privacy
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