In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
People
have different opinions on pupils decide
to work or Wrong verb form
deciding
travel
for a year
between finishing high school and starting university studies. In this
essay, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the decision.
For the advantage side, young people
choose work or travel
first instead
of getting into college
is they will have more experience
or financial support for life
, for example
, young people
who chosen work for a year
, not only earn the tuition fee which is college
need to charge, but also
have more experience
of searching the hobbit of life
, through to the job
, it can learn life
skills and job
skills, meanwhile, can help to decide the college
major which is the interest for, On the other hand
, chose to travel
can experience
which country prefers to live, and what the life style
is it because the Correct your spelling
lifestyle
college
does not require to stay at hometown, it can be anywhere in the earth, thus
the reason, during the travel
can experient the local life
and the job
market. The gap
year
is helpful to make a life
decision.
For the disadvantages side, those people
who chose a gap
year
will need to delay their bachelor's degree one more year
, which causes less competitiveness in entering the job
market, and seeing the same age friend already being a good workforce for society is become
stressful, it is very hard to no competitive with friends or classmates, Change to the active voice
becomes
has become
Moreover
, elderly seems the gap
year
experience
like a relax of life
, it is waste of time and meaningfulness. The society
tends to see Correct article usage
Society
gap
year
is
a runaway decision of live duty, during the interview of Correct your spelling
as
college
, they will notice the difference between the student who does not choose to have a gap
year
, and the interviewer will hope that there is a reasonable reason for the gap
year
.
Overall
, working or travelling for a year
between finishing high school and starting university studies has both sides of advantages and disadvantages, that is
no correct answer to it, chose one that will not regret, and enjoy it.Submitted by meniwii.c on
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coherence cohesion
Try to clearly separate your main points into paragraphs. For example, assign distinct paragraphs to advantages and disadvantages. This will help improve the logical structure and make your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and help you score higher on task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer transitions between sentences and ideas. Adding phrases like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'On the other hand' can help guide the reader through your essay more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
You provided a well-rounded introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay nicely.
task achievement
You discussed both advantages and disadvantages, which shows a good balance in addressing the task requirements.
language
Your essay contains varied vocabulary and demonstrates good control of language.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.