In modern world technology develops dramatically. Some people believe that this is good for traditional cultures, but others think it will lead to their extinction. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#world #technology #people #cultures #extinction

Rapidly developing technologies in nowadays world

affects

Correct subject-verb agreement

affect

show examples

not only our lives, but more common things like traditional

cultures

This

problem might be arguable for some people in the way of

iteraction

Correct your spelling

interaction

for traditional

cultures

and dramatically developing technologies. In my opinion,

such

phenomena might be dangerous but useful for saving traditions.

Firstly

, modern tech helps different people to communicate, which leads different

cultures

to mix. In

this

way

Add a comma

way,

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small ethnical groups might be

asimilated

Correct your spelling

assimilated

by larger ones.

Moreover

, without the knowledge of the problem, we could get

the

Correct article usage

apply

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one big mixed culture without any differences from place to place.

Thus

, we already have similar streaming services with all the

world

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world's

show examples

music available.

Although

, you can find every type of cuisine from

Chineese

Correct your spelling

Chinese

to European almost in every large city in the world.

This

factor could have a dramatic impact

for

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saving the identity of

completed

Replace the word

complete

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traditional

cultures

in the future.

On the other hand

, rapid technology development helps to change the experience between different social groups, which could help to improve productivity in different parts of activities.

For instance

, forums and chats

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show examples

the internet

helps

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help

show examples

people to get answers

for

Change preposition

show examples

questions from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

different

point

Fix the agreement mistake

points

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of view.

In addition

, it is

easer

Correct your spelling

easier

show examples

to accumulate traditions with

such

technology because of

simpified

Correct your spelling

simplified

storage

abitily

Correct your spelling

ability

Change preposition

For

show examples

example, we don't need to write any books by hand and keep them as the apple of one's eye. In

the

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apply

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other terms, with an appropriate approach,

such

improvements could be

quiet

Correct your spelling

quite

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useful for traditional

cultures

. In conclusion, with the right understanding

how

Change preposition

of how

show examples

technologies might develop and how to use them,

this

phenomena

Fix the agreement mistake

phenomenon

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could be used as a great instrument for improving traditional

cultures

in many ways,

otherwise

, it could be

the

Correct article usage

show examples

critical problem which could lead to

extinction

Add an article

the extinction

show examples

of the community.

Submitted by i.dany24s on Tue Oct 15 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument. While your essay provides a good discussion on the topic, try to build stronger connections between points in your paragraphs for seamless transitions and stronger arguments.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to illustrate your points. While you provide some examples, adding more specific instances could strengthen the argument and show a deeper understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Aim to express your ideas more clearly and concisely. Try to review your sentences for clarity and refine them to avoid potential misinterpretations or ambiguity.

coherence cohesion

You have effectively structured your essay, beginning with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs discussing both views and finishing with a conclusion. This gives a clear framework to your essay.

task achievement

Your essay topic is well addressed with relevant points regarding the impact of technology on traditional culture.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Technological advancements
Digital archives
Global audience
Cultural enrichment
Documentation of languages
Cultural homogenization
Mass media
Cultural expressions
Digital divide
Underrepresented cultures

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that it’s a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the best way to run a business is within the family, while others find a family-run business unsuccessful. Discuss both opinions and present your own.