In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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There is a controversy about whether substantial salaries, gained by

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

individuals

Use synonyms

, could be beneficial or it is a problem that demands

governments

Change the noun form

government

show examples

attention.

While

Linking Words

imposing a salary ceiling can bring about advantages,

Change the capitalization

show examples

am of the opinion that the negative consequences of

such

Linking Words

approach

Correct article usage

an approach

show examples

would pale

its

Change preposition

on its

show examples

merits. Balancing income

distribution

Use synonyms

can benefit both

individuals

Use synonyms

and society at large. If a wage ceiling would be imposed, the wealth gap between the rich and the poor would diminish.

This

Linking Words

minimized gap ensures that all walks of life get access to equal amenities and thrive alongside. In today’s societies, those from disadvantaged backgrounds are obliged to attend state schools, which are usually poor-funded and are not well-equipped,

while

Linking Words

children's

Change noun form

children

show examples

of affluent families opt for private schools, where their talents would be recognized, and cutting-edge technologies would be provided

accordingly

Linking Words

so that they could thrive and achieve

further

Linking Words

achievements. A balanced wage

distribution

Use synonyms

on the other hand

Linking Words

, minimizes

this

Linking Words

discrepancy and enables gifted students to obtain degrees based on their merits.

Additionally

Linking Words

, unbalanced education opportunities can cause

further

Linking Words

social problems. A huge gap between affluent and poor citizens increases the rates of crime. The penurious usually opt for pickpocketing and stealing, as climbing the career ladder is an impossible option for poorly-educated

individuals

Use synonyms

Consequently

Linking Words

, capping high salaries would benefit all citizens regardless of their social status. High salaries contribute to hard work,

individuals

Use synonyms

' well-being, and economic growth. Offering high incomes motivates people to work diligently and necessitates them to bring about their optimal mental and physical force, ultimately leading to groundbreaking developments.

For instance

Linking Words

, American

policy-makers

Correct your spelling

policymakers

show examples

believe one should be rewarded based on their merits and abilities,

while

Linking Words

Europeans opt for a more balanced income

distribution

Use synonyms

. Comparing European and American workforce, it is obvious that the latter group work for extended hours and have already gained more rewards in various fields when compared to their counterpart. The reason behind

this

Linking Words

phenomenon is the limitless revenue generation.

Secondly

Linking Words

, generating equivalent revenue can lead to unhealthy habits. By providing a more equitable

distribution

Use synonyms

of wealth, people start to seek the rush of adrenaline, previously gained by surpassing their peers, in other areas. In a futile search for joy in dangerous sexual

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

, addiction not only substitutes competition thrill but

also

Linking Words

pose

Correct subject-verb agreement

poses

show examples

detrimental effects on

individuals

Use synonyms

' mental and physical health. In conclusion the decision to

whether

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

impose

salary

Correct article usage

a salary

show examples

ceiling or not is a complex decision.

While

Linking Words

controlling the

distribution

Use synonyms

of wealth could be profitable,

however

Linking Words

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe its downturns outweigh its benefits.

ghazalmoosavi79Tue Oct 15 2024

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Task Response

Ensure consistency in viewpoints and avoid contradictory statements to strengthen the argument.

Task Response

Elaborate more on examples to provide deeper insight and connection to your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy for better clarity, though small slips do not majorly impact comprehension.

Coherence and Cohesion

Clear structure with a logical flow from introduction to conclusion provides coherence.

Task Response

Both views of the debate are suitably discussed.

Coherence and Cohesion

Includes specific examples to support the main ideas, notably comparing American and European salary policies.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

417 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

wealth inequality
economic growth
motivation
talent acquisition
consumer spending
tax revenue
redistributing wealth
market forces
income disparity
social stability
freedom of choice
meritocracy

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In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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You recently went on a sightseeing tour which you did not enjoy. Write a letter to the manager of the tour company. In your letter: explain why you chose that particular tour explain what you did not like about the tour suggest two ways in which the tour could be improved

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well-managed. What are the advantages and disadvantaged of tourism in the modern world?