IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows how one type of coal is used to produce electricity. Summarise the information by selectting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

The diagram below shows how one type of coal is used to produce electricity. Summarise the information by selectting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
The provided diagram illustrates the
process
Use synonyms
 of a certain coal as a raw material for producing
electricity
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are eight steps which have to be done before the
electricity
Use synonyms
 can be used by houses or industries.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the
process
Use synonyms
 starts with mining the coal, and
then
Linking Words
 it is crushed into small particles by a crusher. After the coal is crushed, it
then
Linking Words
 will be collected in one place.
next,
Linking Words
it will be carried by using a lorry to the trucks.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 point, the
process
Use synonyms
 are becoming more into changing the form of the coal, the coal from the truck is
then
Linking Words
 brought to a gasifier to separate the
gas
Use synonyms
 and solid waste. After the
gas
Use synonyms
 evaporates, it next passes the cooling
process
Use synonyms
 using a cooler to lower the temperature. If the
gas
Use synonyms
 has been cooled, it is
then
Linking Words
 transferred to a
gas
Use synonyms
 power plant to produce
electricity
Use synonyms
, but at
this
Linking Words
 stage heat waste is produced.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
electricity
Use synonyms
 is ready to use for homes or industries.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words process, electricity, gas with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • thermal coal
  • crushed
  • combustion
  • heat energy
  • boil
  • steam
  • turbine
  • generator
  • mechanical energy
  • electrical energy
  • transformers
  • voltage
  • transmitted
  • power lines
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