IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today more and more tourist or visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the advantages and disadvantages for tourist who visit such places?

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The
tourism
Use synonyms
 sector is expanding day by day. Each year
people
Use synonyms
 from different regions are dreaming to travel to different
tourisrt
Correct your spelling
tourist
 sites. Some are exploring the oceans,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
 some are surpassing mountains.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many are choosing difficult places like K2,
Sahara
Correct article usage
the Sahara
show examples
 desert or the Antarctic.
However
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,
these dangerous exploration
Change the determiner
this dangerous exploration
these dangerous explorations
show examples
, have some advantages and disadvantages. I completely agree with the ideas and will talk about both
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
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 and negative impacts of troublesome
tourism
Use synonyms
 in my essay.
Tourism
Use synonyms
 is common
in
Change preposition
among
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 of all ages. More and more individuals are choosing destinations that are hard to surpass.
Sahara
Correct article usage
The Sahara
show examples
 desert and the Antarctic
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 considered the most difficult but interesting
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 for the
people
Use synonyms
.
However
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, picking these tough areas
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 has some advantages.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the hidden
world
Use synonyms
 is exposed,
while
Linking Words
 visiting those regions, the tourists
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
trying to explore and make documentaries on it, which are later revealed to the
world
Use synonyms
. Because of their efforts and blogs,
its
Correct your spelling
it is
show examples
 easier for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
researchers and other
people
Use synonyms
, to see those parts of the
world
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, they get
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of popularity and even their names are
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
 placed in The
World
Use synonyms
 Book as well.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is said that, if
tourism
Use synonyms
 is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
fun,
then
Linking Words
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 a death trap as well. It is because it has a negative side
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
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 Each year tourists travel to places where conditions are difficult, in order to get fame and record their name in the
World
Use synonyms
 Book, but
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
, they
looses
Verb problem
lose
show examples
 their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Thinking about those regions is easy, but
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 hard to survive there.
For instance
Linking Words
,
last
Linking Words
 year, a father and a son, set their journey toward the
Antarcitc
Correct your spelling
Antarctic
, but
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
didnt
Correct your spelling
didn't
 return and lost their life.
However
Linking Words
, another group of friends visited
Sahara
Correct article usage
the Sahara
show examples
 desert. The researchers were clueless about their survival and were
decleared
Correct your spelling
declared
 dead later. In conclusion, it is
cleared
Replace the word
clear
show examples
 that
tourism
Use synonyms
 is fun and
fame
Replace the word
famous
show examples
 for many but one can not deny the fact that it can be dangerous as well. Picking places with tough conditions
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 has
draged
Correct your spelling
dragged
people
Use synonyms
 to the brink of death.

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task achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of traveling to difficult places, but it needs more specific examples to strengthen the arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is clearly related to the main topic and is logically connected to each other. Some parts feel a little disjointed.
task achievement
Try to provide a more detailed response and elaborate on each point with specific examples or elaboration. This will enhance task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion. You set the context well and draw a conclusion that corresponds to your arguments.
task achievement
You have clearly identified both advantages and disadvantages, which aligns well with the essay task.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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