In some countries teenagers who commit crimes should be treated the same way as adult criminals. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this Statement

#countries #teenagers #crimes #adult #criminals

First of

all

Add a comma

all,

show examples

it's definitely

changeable

Correct article usage

a changeable

show examples

situation. Teenagers who commit crimes and

likewise

adult

criminals

Change noun form

criminals'

criminal's

show examples

mindset

Fix the agreement mistake

mindsets

show examples

aren'

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

. Teenagers are

new

Correct your spelling

now

show examples

starting to life but adult

criminals

already know most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Add an article

the thing

show examples

thing

Fix the agreement mistake

things

show examples

about

world

Correct article usage

the world

show examples

process.

For

instance

Add a comma

instance,

show examples

15 years old a kid

commit

Correct subject-verb agreement

commits

show examples

crime

Add an article

a crime

show examples

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

probability

Correct article usage

a probability

show examples

nowadays crimes increase

underage

Change preposition

among underage

show examples

unfortunately

Add the comma(s)

, unfortunately

show examples

. We don'

change adult

criminals

Change noun form

criminals'

criminal's

show examples

mindset

Fix the agreement mistake

mindsets

show examples

but we can change child

mindset

Fix the agreement mistake

mindsets

show examples

Due to

children

aren'

Change the verb form

don't know

show examples

know interested

laws

Change preposition

in laws

show examples

or life they

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

want to do

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

new things. We should change their

willing

Replace the word

will

show examples

. Switzerland

Verb problem

has

show examples

own really low

commit

Verb problem

apply

show examples

crime

probability

as a result

education

Correct article usage

the education

show examples

systems

Change noun form

system's

show examples

genuinely

Change the word

genuine

show examples

development

Replace the word

developing

show examples

years

Fix the agreement mistake

year

show examples

years

Fix the agreement mistake

year

show examples

. That's why Switzerland is

safe

Add an article

a safe

show examples

country. Switzerland when they were children

teaching

Wrong verb form

taught

show examples

for why shouldn'

commit

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

. İ

is truly perfect teaching and grew up conscious

people

I'm supporting

Wrong verb form

I support

show examples

this

instruction. We need to get over

crime

Add an article

a crime

the crime

show examples

that's why we have to

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

explain why mustn'

crime

Add an article

the crime

show examples

I'm

Unnecessary verb

show examples

definitely don'

agree

this

Change preposition

with this

show examples

idea given that as ı mentioned

adults

Change noun form

adults'

adult's

show examples

and

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

mind

structure

Fix the agreement mistake

structures

show examples

and

mindset

Fix the agreement mistake

mindsets

show examples

exactly

doesn'

Verb problem

aren't

show examples

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

. We can'

left

Change the verb form

leave

be left

show examples

alone

criminals

of course, they

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

commit some bad things but they are still

people

and we need to recover

they

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

from

crime

Replace the word

criminal

show examples

behaviour. We should

example

Fix the agreement mistake

examples

show examples

for

new

Correct article usage

the new

show examples

generation

then

they can be good

people

for their country.

Lastly

Add a comma

Lastly,

show examples

I don'

praise

crime

. Just I censure

crime

, ı hope one day eventually all of

Add an article

the guiltys

show examples

guiltys

Correct your spelling

guilty

understand

Change preposition

apply

show examples

how can

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

become good

people

. So ı don'

agree

Add the preposition

agree on

agree to

agree with

show examples

this

choice.

I'm

Unnecessary verb

show examples

only want to healthy and sustainable good life.

Submitted by yaexar on Tue Oct 15 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Aim for clarity and structure in your writing. Make sure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. Try using linkers such as 'however', 'therefore', and 'similarly' to connect your ideas clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure better organization. Your introduction should clearly state your position on the topic. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph, and summarize your arguments in the conclusion.

Task Achievement

Expand on your ideas with clear examples and details. Your essay mentions Switzerland as an example, but it's vague. Providing more specific details would better support your argument.

Task Achievement

You have a unique perspective on the topic and bring up interesting points about education and mindset.

Coherence and Cohesion

You have touched upon an important issue regarding the difference in mindset between teenagers and adults.

Task Achievement

You present a clear stance on the topic throughout your essay, which is crucial for addressing the task effectively.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
61Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries teenagers who commit crimes should be treated the same way as adult criminals. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this Statement

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Space travel to the Moon is often cited as one giant leap for mankind. Yet some people argue that this achievement made little difference to our daily lives. What is your opinion?

Many people believe that playing games and watching TV programs is beneficial but for others it does not improve mental ability of children. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

It is sometimes said that countries should produce all the food for their populations to eat and import as little as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that the government of a country should pay for health care and education of its citizens. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+