In some countries teenagers who commit crimes should be treated the same way as adult criminals. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this Statement

First of

all

Add a comma

all,

show examples

it's definitely

changeable

Correct article usage

a changeable

show examples

situation. Teenagers who commit crimes and

likewise

Linking Words

adult

Use synonyms

criminals

Change noun form

criminals'

criminal's

show examples

Use synonyms

mindset

Fix the agreement mistake

mindsets

show examples

aren'

Use synonyms

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

. Teenagers are

new

Correct your spelling

now

show examples

starting to life but adult

criminals

Use synonyms

already know most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Add an article

the thing

show examples

thing

Fix the agreement mistake

things

show examples

about

world

Correct article usage

the world

show examples

process.

For

Linking Words

instance

Add a comma

instance,

show examples

15 years old a kid

commit

Correct subject-verb agreement

commits

show examples

Use synonyms

crime

Add an article

a crime

show examples

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

probability

Correct article usage

a probability

show examples

nowadays crimes increase

underage

Change preposition

among underage

show examples

unfortunately

Add the comma(s)

, unfortunately

show examples

. We don'

Use synonyms

change adult

Use synonyms

criminals

Change noun form

criminals'

criminal's

show examples

Use synonyms

mindset

Fix the agreement mistake

mindsets

show examples

but we can change child

Use synonyms

mindset

Fix the agreement mistake

mindsets

show examples

Due to

Linking Words

children

aren'

Change the verb form

don't know

show examples

Use synonyms

know interested

laws

Change preposition

in laws

show examples

or life they

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

want to do

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

new things. We should change their

willing

Replace the word

will

show examples

. Switzerland

Verb problem

has

show examples

own really low

commit

Verb problem

apply

show examples

crime

Use synonyms

probability

as a result

Linking Words

education

Correct article usage

the education

show examples

systems

Change noun form

system's

show examples

genuinely

Change the word

genuine

show examples

development

Replace the word

developing

show examples

years

Fix the agreement mistake

year

show examples

years

Fix the agreement mistake

year

show examples

. That's why Switzerland is

safe

Add an article

a safe

show examples

country. Switzerland when they were children

teaching

Wrong verb form

taught

show examples

for why shouldn'

Use synonyms

commit

Use synonyms

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

. İ

Use synonyms

is truly perfect teaching and grew up conscious

people

Use synonyms

I'm supporting

Wrong verb form

I support

show examples

this

Linking Words

instruction. We need to get over

Use synonyms

crime

Add an article

a crime

the crime

show examples

that's why we have to

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

explain why mustn'

Use synonyms

crime

Add an article

the crime

show examples

I'm

Unnecessary verb

show examples

definitely don'

Use synonyms

agree

Linking Words

this

Change preposition

with this

show examples

idea given that as ı mentioned

adults

Change noun form

adults'

adult's

show examples

and

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

mind

structure

Fix the agreement mistake

structures

show examples

and

Use synonyms

mindset

Fix the agreement mistake

mindsets

show examples

exactly

doesn'

Verb problem

aren't

show examples

Use synonyms

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

. We can'

Use synonyms

left

Change the verb form

leave

be left

show examples

alone

criminals

Use synonyms

of course, they

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

commit some bad things but they are still

people

Use synonyms

and we need to recover

they

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

from

Use synonyms

crime

Replace the word

criminal

show examples

behaviour. We should

example

Fix the agreement mistake

examples

show examples

for

new

Correct article usage

the new

show examples

generation

then

Linking Words

they can be good

people

Use synonyms

for their country.

Linking Words

Lastly

Add a comma

Lastly,

show examples

I don'

Use synonyms

praise

crime

Use synonyms

. Just I censure

crime

Use synonyms

, ı hope one day eventually all of

Add an article

the guiltys

show examples

guiltys

Correct your spelling

guilty

understand

Change preposition

apply

show examples

how can

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

become good

people

Use synonyms

. So ı don'

Use synonyms

agree

Add the preposition

agree on

agree to

agree with

show examples

this

Linking Words

choice.

I'm

Unnecessary verb

show examples

only want to healthy and sustainable good life.

yaexar

Oct 15, 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Aim for clarity and structure in your writing. Make sure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. Try using linkers such as 'however', 'therefore', and 'similarly' to connect your ideas clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure better organization. Your introduction should clearly state your position on the topic. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph, and summarize your arguments in the conclusion.

Task Achievement

Expand on your ideas with clear examples and details. Your essay mentions Switzerland as an example, but it's vague. Providing more specific details would better support your argument.

Task Achievement

You have a unique perspective on the topic and bring up interesting points about education and mindset.

Coherence and Cohesion

You have touched upon an important issue regarding the difference in mindset between teenagers and adults.

Task Achievement

You present a clear stance on the topic throughout your essay, which is crucial for addressing the task effectively.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
61
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

257 words

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In some countries teenagers who commit crimes should be treated the same way as adult criminals. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this Statement

Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many people continue to use cars and motorcycles even though they know that they are bad for the environment. Why is this? What can be done to reduce the use of these vehicles?

Some say thatr advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.