In some countries teenagers who commit crimes should be treated the same way as adult criminals. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this Statement

#countries #teenagers #crimes #adult #criminals

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First of

all

Add a comma

all,

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it's definitely

changeable

Correct article usage

a changeable

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situation. Teenagers who commit crimes and

likewise

Linking Words

adult

Use synonyms

criminals

Change noun form

criminals'

criminal's

show examples

Use synonyms

mindset

Fix the agreement mistake

mindsets

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aren'

Use synonyms

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

. Teenagers are

new

Correct your spelling

now

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starting to life but adult

criminals

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already know most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Add an article

the thing

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thing

Fix the agreement mistake

things

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about

world

Correct article usage

the world

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process.

For

Linking Words

instance

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instance,

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15 years old a kid

commit

Correct subject-verb agreement

commits

show examples

Use synonyms

crime

Add an article

a crime

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have

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has

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probability

Correct article usage

a probability

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nowadays crimes increase

underage

Change preposition

among underage

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unfortunately

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, unfortunately

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. We don'

Use synonyms

change adult

Use synonyms

criminals

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criminals'

criminal's

show examples

Use synonyms

mindset

Fix the agreement mistake

mindsets

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but we can change child

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mindset

Fix the agreement mistake

mindsets

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Due to

Linking Words

children

aren'

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don't know

show examples

Use synonyms

know interested

laws

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in laws

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or life they

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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want to do

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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new things. We should change their

willing

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will

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. Switzerland

Verb problem

has

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own really low

commit

Verb problem

apply

show examples

crime

Use synonyms

probability

as a result

Linking Words

education

Correct article usage

the education

show examples

systems

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system's

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genuinely

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genuine

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development

Replace the word

developing

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years

Fix the agreement mistake

year

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years

Fix the agreement mistake

year

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. That's why Switzerland is

safe

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a safe

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country. Switzerland when they were children

teaching

Wrong verb form

taught

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for why shouldn'

Use synonyms

commit

Use synonyms

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

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. İ

Use synonyms

is truly perfect teaching and grew up conscious

people

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I'm supporting

Wrong verb form

I support

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this

Linking Words

instruction. We need to get over

Use synonyms

crime

Add an article

a crime

the crime

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that's why we have to

Unnecessary verb

apply

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explain why mustn'

Use synonyms

crime

Add an article

the crime

show examples

I'm

Unnecessary verb

show examples

definitely don'

Use synonyms

agree

Linking Words

this

Change preposition

with this

show examples

idea given that as ı mentioned

adults

Change noun form

adults'

adult's

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and

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

mind

structure

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structures

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and

Use synonyms

mindset

Fix the agreement mistake

mindsets

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exactly

doesn'

Verb problem

aren't

show examples

Use synonyms

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

. We can'

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left

Change the verb form

leave

be left

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alone

criminals

Use synonyms

of course, they

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

commit some bad things but they are still

people

Use synonyms

and we need to recover

they

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

from

Use synonyms

crime

Replace the word

criminal

show examples

behaviour. We should

example

Fix the agreement mistake

examples

show examples

for

new

Correct article usage

the new

show examples

generation

then

Linking Words

they can be good

people

Use synonyms

for their country.

Linking Words

Lastly

Add a comma

Lastly,

show examples

I don'

Use synonyms

praise

crime

Use synonyms

. Just I censure

crime

Use synonyms

, ı hope one day eventually all of

Add an article

the guiltys

show examples

guiltys

Correct your spelling

guilty

understand

Change preposition

apply

show examples

how can

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

become good

people

Use synonyms

. So ı don'

Use synonyms

agree

Add the preposition

agree on

agree to

agree with

show examples

this

Linking Words

choice.

I'm

Unnecessary verb

show examples

only want to healthy and sustainable good life.

Submitted by yaexar on Tue Oct 15 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Aim for clarity and structure in your writing. Make sure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. Try using linkers such as 'however', 'therefore', and 'similarly' to connect your ideas clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure better organization. Your introduction should clearly state your position on the topic. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph, and summarize your arguments in the conclusion.

Task Achievement

Expand on your ideas with clear examples and details. Your essay mentions Switzerland as an example, but it's vague. Providing more specific details would better support your argument.

Task Achievement

You have a unique perspective on the topic and bring up interesting points about education and mindset.

Coherence and Cohesion

You have touched upon an important issue regarding the difference in mindset between teenagers and adults.

Task Achievement

You present a clear stance on the topic throughout your essay, which is crucial for addressing the task effectively.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
61
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

257 words

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In some countries teenagers who commit crimes should be treated the same way as adult criminals. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this Statement

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

High school students are usually not good at managing money. What are the reasons? What are the solutions?

When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

You have a problem with the recently hired employee in your workplace. Write a letter to the HR manager. In your letter Describe the problems in new employee has caused Explain how others employees about the new employee's count Say how you expect that a HR manager to address this situation