Many people today are worried about cyber crime such as hacking and identity theft. What problems does cyber crime cause andd what solutions can you suggest for ordinary people and business to take?

These days many
people
are concerned about
cyber
crime
like hacking and identity theft. The problems caused by
cyber
Correct your spelling
cybercrime
show examples
crime
are they put
people
at
risk
, and
people
cannot
share
their personal
information
with others. The
solutions
Fix the agreement mistake
solution
show examples
are not sharing personal
information
online, and the state should take necessary measures to tackle
cyber
Correct your spelling
cybercrime
show examples
crime
.
Cyber
Correct your spelling
Cybercrime
show examples
crime
puts
people
at
risk
when it leaks
the
Change the word
their
show examples
personal
information
of them.
In online
Change preposition
Online
show examples
,
people
share
their personal details
such
as date of birth, address, and phone numbers.
These
Change the determiner
This information
show examples
information
put
Wrong verb form
puts
show examples
them at
risk
because hackers access
those
Change the determiner
that information
show examples
information
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
blackmail
people
and ask for money.
Moreover
,
people
nowadays, do not want to
share
their personal
information
online because of
cyber
Correct your spelling
cybercrime
show examples
crime
. Many
people
while
filling
online
Change preposition
out online
show examples
form
Fix the agreement mistake
forms
show examples
for job opportunities do not want to
share
their personal details
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
of the fear
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
leaking
information
.
For example
, in the USA,in 2020, some candidates
while
applying for a job filled up a form about their personal details, it got leaked and they
face
Wrong verb form
faced
show examples
trouble regarding their security.
Moreover
, the
solutions
Fix the agreement mistake
solution
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
these problems
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
being
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
careful about sharing personal
information
online. The
information
people
share
should be
perserved
Correct your spelling
preserved
properly. When
people
become sure about the protection of their
information
, they should
share
their
information
.
In addition
, the government should take necessary measures to preserve online
information
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the general public. Strict laws should be passed and implemented to protect the private
information
of the general public.
For instance
, in Australia, if someone leaks the private
information
of others,
hewill
Correct your spelling
he will
be imprisoned for six months. In conclusion, the public puts them at
risk
when they
share
private
information
online and
therfore
Correct your spelling
therefore
,
people
do not want to
share
their personal
information
online. To
addres
Correct your spelling
address
these problems,
people
should be careful about which
information
they are sharing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online, and the state should take effective measures to tackle online
indentity
Correct your spelling
identity
theft.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
Delve deeper into specific examples and situations. For example, expand on specific consequences of identity theft or how businesses can protect themselves.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using more connecting phrases will enhance the flow.
task achievement
The essay presents both problems and solutions, adhering well to the task.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion clearly outline the issues and solutions.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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