You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, many countries people are want to find their work, for that they have to move from one town to another. By leaving their friends and families.
First of all, the reason for moving away from their hometown because of accomidation, high salary and they need to explore the some new thnigs for their own because of that the crowd want to leave the places where the live and
also
they have to find some new persons to make connections between them and having new friends will be very helpful for their future and leaving their family and friends will may hurt them sometimes it will make the person homesick for somedays, so the person will communicate with them and also
with their current neighbour to make him or her self to come over their thoughts of home. After that a new social circle will form around the working people. Example: If a person moves on to a kown city for his or her work means they already know their surrounding but moving to a unkown place means it will make them to feel alone.
Disadvantages, Of moving to another field work will definitely make them to feel lonely and the main problem is language barreir, culture, money and their social circle will automatically change when moving to a new place and need to develop some new skills for their survival in the place. Example: A child was going to school for the first time so it was started crying because the parents are leaving them alone to some new community after regularly going to school the child stoped crying because it was adopted to the home.
In the end we leave our born zone and homies for endeavor means that is
not the end of our journey it the beginning of our new life to know about the world. This
will help the new community to develop on thier own knowledge and skills. After some months the unknown area will be known for them.Submitted by insighttribez on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas. For example, words like 'Additionally,' 'Moreover,' 'On the other hand,' and 'However' can help clarify the relationship between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. The conclusion should summarize the main points discussed and restate your position on the topic.
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To improve clarity, break down your ideas into smaller, more manageable sentences. This approach will help you avoid overly long sentences that can be confusing for the reader.
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Try to include specific and diverse examples to support your arguments. Examples drawn from different fields or personal experiences can make your essay more relatable and engaging.
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You have made a commendable effort by touching upon both the advantages and disadvantages of moving away for work, which shows a balanced approach.
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You have included examples to support your points, which is good for illustrating your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.