IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts give information about employment in the UK in 1998 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts give information about employment in the UK in 1998 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie charts compare the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
, divided by gender, who
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 employed in the UK in 1988 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, men who worked full-time had the biggest share among other categories in both years. In 1988, full-time
men
Correct your spelling
male
show examples
 employees accounted for more than half with around 12500
people
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, male part-timers allocated
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
just 6% with 1550 workers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the part-time female workers had
bigger
Correct article usage
a bigger
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 than full-timers, which were 22% (5200
people
Use synonyms
) and 19% (4400
people
Use synonyms
) respectively. In 2012, there was a decline in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
male
Change to a plural noun
males
show examples
 who worked full-time, but it still took the biggest proportion of employment with 47%.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the percentage of women working part-time was
also
Linking Words
 decreased to 20%. A slight growth was seen in the
number
Use synonyms
 of male part-timers with 7% of
people
Use synonyms
.
Likewise
Linking Words
, women who had a
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
 job increased in
number
Use synonyms
 allocating for around a quarter.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words people, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rate
  • economic landscape
  • information technology
  • service industry
  • manufacturing
  • agriculture
  • sector shift
  • healthcare sector
  • public administration
  • education sector
  • advancements in technology
  • traditional industries
  • modern sectors
What to do next:
Look at other essays: