The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.
The pie chart provides data regarding 4 distinct venues of
dance
classes
, while
the diagram illustrates 2 age
classifications (under 11 and 11 - 16 years
) that currently participate in 3 different types of dance
classes
(ballet, tap, modern) in an Australian city.
To commence, private facilities are the predominant location of dance
classes
, accounting for approximately half of the proportion at 48%. This
is followed by school halls (after-school) and community halls & others at around 21% on average for each place. However
, the college-based spaces only contribute 38% less compared to private studios, indicating a noticeable disparity.
On the other hand
, regarding types of dance
classes
per age
group, 600 children under 11 years
old participate in ballet class, whereas
children from the 11 - 16 age
group that study ballet are only half of those under 11 years
. Conversely
, the number of students from under 11 years
old and 11 -16 age
groups that engage in tap class is almost identical at around 450 students. Moreover
, although
300 children under 11 years
old learn modern dance
, the number from the 11 - 16 age
group is approximately 200 more.
To encapsulate, although
dance
classes
are mostly held at private studios, those 2 age
groups have their own preference on types of dance
classes
.Submitted by rasendrya.hafiz on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words dance, classes, age, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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