Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation of committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.

some people
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
that the circumstances of an individual
crime
should be considered when performing the punishment. white that others say that
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
crime
should be punishments for each kind of
crime
. In my opinion, I think that it is better to be setting a single penalty for each type of
crime
. one of the reasons for which are should be considered each
crime
is that people have a motivation in special, depending on the circumstances of the
crime
, since in many cases illegal acts are more or less than others,
for example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
serial killer, who kills for pleasure and taste, structure a plan that they have previously made,
whereas
another person who kills another in self-defence, it made for survive, these cannot be condemned in the same way. because their acts are of different origins and impulses.
On the other hand
, when these crimes are classified for each kind of punishment it is effective and organizes the penal system allowing a shorter and faster process for each
crime
.
For instance
, if one person robbery a bank the
crime
can be given a penalty of around 10 years, since
this
type of violation that's it fixed for each
crime
. In conclusion, in my opinion, both statements have the same purpose,
although
, I believe that choosing a permanent punishment for each type of
crime
of the better way a penalty.
Submitted by dannyrrng33 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, start by having a clear thesis statement in the introduction and ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence. This will help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly. Additionally, ensure that transitions between ideas and paragraphs are logically sequenced to avoid abrupt shifts in thought.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points. Analyzed and varied examples will help strengthen your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issue. Make sure each example is clearly linked to the point you're making.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly sets up the debate on whether punishments should be fixed or variable based on circumstances.
introduction conclusion present
There is a good concluding statement which summarizes your viewpoint clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fixed punishments
  • consistency
  • predictability
  • deter crime
  • potential offenders
  • streamline
  • judicial process
  • bias
  • corruption
  • complexity
  • human behavior
  • circumstances
  • justice system
  • intent
  • remorse
  • socio-economic background
  • rehabilitate offenders
  • recidivism rates
  • flexible punishment systems
  • inconsistencies
  • perceived injustices
  • public trust
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