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Band 4

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five australian cities

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five australian cities
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The graphic illustrates the conclusion of a survey about the purchase and frequency of hot
drinks
Fix the agreement mistake
drink
show examples
 consumption in a variety of cities in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
,the chart shows that the percentage of fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 consumed in every city is below 45 per cent, which shows the number of purchases of fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 at the bottom.
Therefore
Linking Words
, going to the cafe and having hot drinks is the peak, especially in Melbourne and Hobart.If we compare the cities, Adelaide-Brisbane has a similar percentage of fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 purchased in the
last
Linking Words
 four weeks. As we can see, going to cafes is more prevalent in each city.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Melbourne and Horbat have the same high numbers for having
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea in the cafe.We can say by summarising the graphic that Australia's buying and drinking habits are above 30 per cent, which means
coffee
Use synonyms
 plays a significant role in Australia's big cities.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the seventh paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the ninth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey results
  • coffee and tea buying habits
  • instant coffee
  • fresh coffee
  • cafe culture
  • social influences
  • economic factors
  • city demographics
  • seasonal trends
  • marketing strategies
  • consumer preferences
  • availability
  • popularity
  • consumption patterns
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