IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: The international committee should act immediately to ensure that all countries reduce fossil fuels, such as gas and oil. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #committee #act #countries #fuels #gas #oil
Some people believe that the international
comittee
Correct your spelling
committee
 should take action
in ensuring
Change preposition
to ensure
show examples
 less use of fossil
fuels
 like gas and oil. I personally agree with
this
 because fossil
fuels
 can damage the environment.
Moreover
, they are non-renewable, which means that they're not sustainable
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the long run. First of all, fossil
fuels
 can be harmful to our planet, emitting
green house
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
show examples
 gases
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the atmosphere, which leads to global warming and many other problems. In recent years, the earth has been getting increasingly hotter. The use of fossil
fuels
 will only make it worse.
For example
, temperatures in Thailand
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 increased significantly over the
pass
Correct your spelling
past
show examples
 decade, causing potential health threats,
such
 as heat stroke.
Secondly
, they can not be sustained and will eventually run out, unlike renewable sources of energy
such
 as wind and water.
For instance
, there are now many oil pools that have been reported to be empty in Saudi Arabia.
To conclude
, fossil
fuels
 can cause harm to our world and are unsustainable.
Therefore
, I strongly support the idea of relying less on fossil
fuels
.
Submitted by minnikamol on

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task achievement
Ensure to include more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments. Although you mentioned Thailand and Saudi Arabia, providing quantitative data or more detailed case studies can enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with minor spelling errors and typos such as 'comittee' instead of 'committee' and 'pass decade' instead of 'past decade.' Although small inaccuracies do not heavily impact your score, avoiding them helps maintain clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively presents a clear position on the topic, which is maintained throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with clear arguments supporting your position, where each point is followed by an explanation and an example.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments and reinforces your viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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