Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has negative effects on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The upward trend of digital devices‘ utilization is believed to inflict various negative effects on
teenager’s
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teenagers’
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comprehension and literacy proficiency. From a personal perspective, I’ve come to a partial agreement with
this
assertion. On the one hand, the advancement of digitalization has brought about multiple negative effects
for
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on
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their physical well-being.
For
example
, the
long term
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long-term
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usage of a smartphone or computer to read or write documents has been proven to be harmful
for
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to
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both the eyes and mind. Scientists say that using smart devices emits blue light - a harmful ray which is the leading cause of visual impairment. Physical deviation is not the only damaging effect but technology
also
creates neurological deviation and inferiority towards an individual’s literacy skill. Teenagers nowadays bear a tendency to exploit and abuse Artificial Intelligence to complete assignments for them,
thus
disabling them from making use of their own imaginations and thoughts,
therefore
dulling their skills
overtime
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over time
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.
Moreover
, the built-in dictation feature occasionally prevents a student from memorizing recently learned vocabulary as they frequently fail to pay careful attention to their mistakes and learn from
it
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them
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. A common
example
that can be seen occurring to multiple
students
nowadays is how they always refer to AI to write essays for them.
This
not only prevents them from thinking
dependently
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independently
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but
also
disables
Verb problem
prevents
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them from actually utilizing the things they’ve learnt within educational facilities.
Consequently
, they are bound to attain low grades during a practical examination.
On the other hand
, proper exploitation of these technologies will aid a learner tremendously in their skills growth. As we perceive the reading aspect, one can
deduct
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deduce
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that digital devices are easy to bring and possess a great capacity
of
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for
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reading materials. Some applications
also
aid
students
by helping them keep track of their progress and providing a definition of words that can’t be comprehended. Take Kindle
for
example
, a renowned application for reading, equipped with millions of books to choose from and convenient built-in features to create a pleasant and optimized reading experience. As for writing development, if properly utilized, Artificial Intelligence can support
students
in constructing ideas
while
also
giving them guidance to immaculate structurization - the foundation of a refined exposition.
Moreover
, there are applications with the ability to enhance an individual’s expertise. A good application to make an
example
of is Grammarly, an extension that many
students
install to have it correct their mistakes and suggest better methods to convey their ideas in a structured manner. To sum everything up,
although
applying technology
into
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to
show examples
reading and writing
have
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has
show examples
its own negative effects, I
am in
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apply
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the
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apply
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belief
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believe
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that the advantages they provide far
surpasses
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surpass
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the aforementioned downsides as long as the
students
maintain a balanced usage of their own skills and technological assistance to create an optimized learning experience.
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Task Response
While the essay addresses the task, it could benefit from a slightly clearer presentation of your position. Consider stating your agreement or disagreement more explicitly at the beginning.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay could improve coherence by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Consider using more linking words or phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Some sections of the essay contain minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Careful proofreading will help improve clarity and readability.
Task Response
The essay provides a balanced viewpoint, discussing both positive and negative aspects, which showcases a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your position, leaving a strong final impression.
Task Response
Relevant examples and applications like 'Kindle' and 'Grammarly' are effectively used to support your main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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