Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

#people #life #money

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At present numerous individual consider

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

money

Use synonyms

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

the most important thing in their

life

Use synonyms

and

this

Linking Words

essay will examine the main reason for

this

Linking Words

attitude and other related matters for happiness.

To begin

Linking Words

with, using

money

Use synonyms

life

Use synonyms

is the most important concern. Nowadays people are using

bunch

Add an article

a bunch

show examples

of goods and different kinds of equipment for the comfort of

life

Use synonyms

. And

this

Linking Words

matter happens only by riches.

For example

Linking Words

, recently an international newspaper published news that 87% of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

folks work more and more

for

Change preposition

show examples

earing

Correct your spelling

earn

show examples

money

Use synonyms

and

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

aims are not important to them. Adding that,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money

Use synonyms

is an infrastructure of every progress in the modern world, and that not only guarantees all of the

facility

Fix the agreement mistake

facilities

show examples

, but

also

Linking Words

it is impossible for people to deal with

life

Use synonyms

without it.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are a lot of necessary aspects in

life

Use synonyms

for happiness.

For example

Linking Words

, the researchers indicated that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

life

Use synonyms

is meaningless without health and health is a priority in

life

Use synonyms

Hence

Linking Words

,people have to save their health and

this

Linking Words

matter is more important

for

Change preposition

show examples

them.

Although

Linking Words

it is said that, keeping morality and emotion is

golden

Add an article

the golden

a golden

show examples

key for gladness too and humans need peace of mind in every condition ,and

this

Linking Words

is one of the most important subjects which can not be disregarded as well.

To conclude

Linking Words

, undoubtedly, the

money

Use synonyms

provides plenty of positive things.

Thus

Linking Words

, I assume that

currently

Add a comma

currently,

show examples

everyone tries to make a balance between

money

Use synonyms

and other

life

Use synonyms

requirements in their way of

life

Use synonyms

Submitted by aksoysana on Wed Oct 16 2024

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coherence

Enhance your logical flow by ensuring that each paragraph builds upon the previous one more effectively. Use transitional phrases and clear topic sentences.

cohesion

Ensure each main point is well-supported with specific examples and explanations to strengthen your argument.

task response

Address all parts of the question thoroughly, and ensure your ideas are clear and comprehensive.

task response

The essay addresses both aspects of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and what other factors can influence happiness.

coherence

You included an introduction and a conclusion, which help frame your response and provide a sense of closure.

cohesion

There are relevant examples and statistics provided, such as the international newspaper survey, to support your ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Your opinion

Some people say that in our modern age because of advancement in digital technology it is no longer necessary for people to learn handwriting skills, but others believe handwriting is still an important skill. Discuss these views and state you opinion.

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to get news. However, others believe that other media are better sources of news. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the best way to improve the overall general health of the public is to offer more sports facilities. Others say that this would have little effect and other measure are necessary to improve public health. Discuss both views.

Fresh water has always been a limited resources in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of the increased demand, and what measures can government and individuals take to respond to this problem.