IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Task 2. The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Your essay should comprise a minimum of 250 words.

#week #workers #weekend
Nowadays, many people argue that
employees
 should not
work
 five days a week and
instead
 enjoy longer weekends to relax. I completely agree with
this
 opinion
due to
 the numerous benefits it offers for both
employees
 and employers. It is a well-known fact that having a long holiday will bring enormous benefits to physical and mental
health
. Having more
time
 off allows individuals to dedicate
time
 to their families and personal interests.
According to
 a study in Japan, the scientists demonstrate that children who have more
time
 to play and are educated with their parents have positive thinking and great
health
.
In addition
,
employees
 who have long days off have a high
work
 efficiency.
Time
 to relax on weekends helps them heal in mental
health
, and get less stress in
work
.
Besides
, the more weekend workers get the less salary must be paid by the company. It would make the employer become wealthier. Many companies in Europe try changing the schedule of
work
 for their workers.
Consequently
, the profits of these companies increased significantly.
This
 shows that when
employees
 are happier and healthier, it positively impacts the company’s success. In conclusion, reducing working days brings a lot of advantages for
employees
 and employers. Increased family bonding, improved mental
health
, and enhanced productivity are just a few of the advantages that support
this
 change. As the workplace evolves, it is essential to prioritize employee well-being in order to foster a more productive and satisfied workforce.
Submitted by dohuyhoang on

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Improvement
The essay addresses the task effectively but could benefit from more specific examples and details to fully support the points made. Incorporating a variety of examples from different contexts would strengthen the argument.
Improvement
Focus on strengthening the argument by providing more detailed explanations and wider examples to fully convey the points.
Improvement
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence followed by supporting sentences to enhance clarity and coherence.
Content
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the discussion and support the argument.
Structure
Logical structure and organization are well-maintained throughout the essay, making it easy to follow the progression of ideas.
Language
The language used is generally clear and comprehensive, with a good range of vocabulary.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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