In many countries, governments spemd large amounts of money on the arts and this is supported by some taxpayers as worthwhile. Others, however think that this money would be better spent on health and education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these opinions? Discuss, based on your knowledge and experience.
It's argued that governments spend
huge
Add an article
a huge
amount
of Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
money
on the
Correct article usage
apply
art
with
getting help from taxpayers, Change preposition
by
while
the
society and Correct article usage
apply
people
believe it's much better to spend this
money
on education
and helth
. Correct your spelling
health
This
essay it
totally Correct pronoun usage
apply
agree
that Change the verb form
agrees
education
and health are important more than art
.
Developing good facility
for treatment will make Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
people
happier. both views will be discussed in this
essay.
On the one hand, each government
responsible
for Add a missing verb
is responsible
their
own Correct pronoun usage
its
people
and it's their
responsibility to develop Correct pronoun usage
its
the
supportive facilities, Correct article usage
apply
such
as,
hospitals, police stations, schools and Remove the comma
apply
other important facility
for Change the wording
another important facility
other important facilities
the
society. When the Correct article usage
apply
government
decide to spend and focus on art
, people
will not be sure of the government
capability to manage their Change noun form
government's
country
in the right way. For instance
, the UK government
spend only 20% of the government
Change noun form
government's
money
on art
, they decide that most of money
will go Add an article
the money
for
Change preposition
to
society
development. Change noun form
society's
therefore
, we can see now the result of this
good decision reflected in many ways on people
and the country
.
On the other hand
, art
and such
as these thing
should not Change the determiner
this thing
these things
be consider
as an important staff and we can't compare them at all with hospitals and Change the verb form
be considered
education
. People
are right when the
demand the Correct your spelling
they
government
to spend more and to cut that payment of art
and directed
Wrong verb form
direct
to
other important things.
Correct pronoun usage
it to
Education
is one of the most important thing
in each Change to a plural noun
things
country
, and if you want to see how is
the Unnecessary verb
apply
country
successed
see their Correct your spelling
succeed
succeeded
education
, schools and universities.
Best
example of Add an article
The best
this
is Saudi arabia
, Change the capitalization
Arabia
the
Correct pronoun usage
which
focus
on Correct subject-verb agreement
focuses
education
and health more than art
. And they can be lead
as an example.
In conclusion, spending Wrong verb form
led
government
money
on art
even if it's supported by the taxpayers not equal and not important such
as spending money
on schools, university
and the health of the Fix the agreement mistake
universities
people
.Submitted by altammar12 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction clearly states your position and outlines the structure of the essay. The introduction should not only mention agreement with the statement but briefly mention the reasons to provide a roadmap for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by clearly linking paragraphs and ideas. Transitions between ideas and paragraphs can enhance logical flow. Use connectors, such as 'Furthermore', 'Additionally', 'Moreover', to strengthen the connection between points.
supported main points
Develop main points with more detailed supporting arguments and examples. For instance, you mentioned the UK's spending, but more detailed data or examples would strengthen your point.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and elaborate points further for a comprehensive discussion. For instance, the section on Saudi Arabia could be expanded to explain how its focus on education and health has led to its success.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear opinion and supports it with a relevant argument about the importance of health and education over arts.
task achievement
You included specific examples like the UK and Saudi Arabia, which support your argument effectively.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion succinctly reinforces the essay’s stance and summarizes your argument effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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