With advancement in science, it is quite common for people to leave a page of hundred and thousand medical research make it possible for normal human being to live longer than that is assistance Is this desirable or not?

#advancement #science #people #page #thousand #research #assistance

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Society has different views about the development of science which is predicted to help individuals live longer

while

Linking Words

others deny these benefits. There are some strong arguments in support of

this

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new advancement of medical science, but I believe that living up to 150 years will have a negative influence on the community. People support immortality for several reasons.

Firstly

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, human beings would have no regrets about their strong desires for accomplishments. Mankind can do what they have not done before in their hardworking days

due to

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a big dream of success in the future

life

Use synonyms

Thus

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, longevity assists humankind to

livey

Correct your spelling

live

the joy of spring in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

successful period by completing unfinished ambitions. To substantiate it, here is an epitome of entrepreneurs who worked hard to reach

Correct article usage

the

show examples

peak of their career afterwards, they tend to stay achievements for longer to live

Change preposition

show examples

that pinnacle. In spite of the above arguments, I agree that a picturesque

life

Use synonyms

and satisfaction with what a person holds is much better than a longer subsistence without meaning and significance.

Furthermore

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, humankind has certain limitations as organs would not remain the same in all phases of

life

Use synonyms

. During adult ages, a person

feel

Change the verb form

feels

show examples

more fatigued and it is hard to provide proper care, especially if he or she

suffered

Wrong verb form

suffers

show examples

from bad health or weak resistance. Even though people will able to receive extra-ordinary facilities, brain health will not be changed.

In addition

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, surviving too prolonged only brings morbidity and

this

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will create heavy burdens on the government. There would be a need to allocate more expenditures and the escalation of older people will indirectly affect the growth rate of developing countries as their limited resources will be spent on old age care centres.

Overall

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, it seems to me that the potential dangers of living a long

life

Use synonyms

are more significant than the possible merits.

Thus

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, I still argue that remaining healthy and balanced

Change preposition

for an

show examples

entire

life

Use synonyms

is far better than expecting a

life

Use synonyms

of approximately 150 years.

Submitted by sarabjeetk8899 on Wed Oct 16 2024

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task achievement

Try to make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive, especially when describing the benefits and drawbacks of longevity. This will help readers follow your arguments more easily.

task achievement

Include more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your points. This will bolster your argument and make it more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the logical progression between your points is smoother. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.

task achievement

Focus on providing balanced points of view for both sides of the argument, and make sure to equally support each point with evidence.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction clearly sets out the main argument and introduces the topic effectively.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your position clearly.

task achievement

The essay addresses the task prompt fully, discussing both the potential benefits and drawbacks of increased longevity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

333 words

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With advancement in science, it is quite common for people to leave a page of hundred and thousand medical research make it possible for normal human being to live longer than that is assistance Is this desirable or not?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Fewer young people play sports these days. Why is this? what can be done to encourage more young people to do sports.

Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving hapiness.Others, however believe that money has nothing to do with hapiness.Discuss both views.

Some people think cars are a better way of transportation around the city, while other prefer cycling. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe the professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.