IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People are living in a “throwaway society”, using things for a short time and then throwing them away. What are the causes of this? What problems does it lead to?

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Nowadays, people are valuing belongings less, using them for a short period of time
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then
Correct word choice
and then
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 trashing them.
This
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 is a result of their upbringing and products not being made to
last
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 a very long time. Throwing items away like
this
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 increases the amount of
trash
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 on our planet leading to numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
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problems.
To begin
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 with, in recent generations, people have been raised differently from the past. They are given what they want easily making them value belongings less.
For example
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, a child who is given a new pencil every day will not care if they lose the pencil. Contradictorily, if they are given a pencil to use once a year, they will take extremely good care of it.
Moreover
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, companies are starting to make their products less durable and sustainable to increase sales and profits. To put
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
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 perspective, if a product lasts a lifetime, customers will not have to purchase a new one.
For instance
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, phones are now being made with less
durabily
Correct your spelling
durability
durable
 than before. Old models like the Samsung Hero, could survive being thrown down multiple flights of stairs, but newer phones can break with just a fall from a table. The more things being thrown away the more
trash
Use synonyms
 there is on our earth. Having an enormous amount of garbage is a waste of space and can harm the environment. To remove
trash
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, we have to burn them. The burning of
trash
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 emits
green house
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
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 gases,
such
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 as carbon dioxide
to
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into
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 the atmosphere, which leads to global warming. The increase of heat is a potential health hazard and has been an issue for us humans for centuries,
this
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 is only making the situation worse. In conclusion, the upbringing
people
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of people
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 causing them to value things less, resulting in more
trash
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 on our planet. The process of removing
trash
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 requires burning,
consequently
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 polluting the world with harmful gases that contribute to global warming.

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Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider using more varied transitional words and phrases. This would help guide the reader more smoothly between points and maintain a good flow throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Spend more time elaborating on key ideas with specific examples or evidence. This will strengthen your task response and ensure each point is fully supported.
Overall Structure
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a strong framework for the reader.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively links the causes and consequences of the 'throwaway society' concept, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
Language Use
There's a consistent use of relevant vocabulary and expressions related to the topic, reflecting a good command of English.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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