IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The given line graph shows consumption of fast food by Australian Teenagers between 1975 and 2000.

The given line graph shows consumption of fast food by Australian Teenagers between 1975 and 2000.
The line graph beneath compares
thee
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the
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 fast
food
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 in terms of
cosumption
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consumption
 of fast
food
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 by Australian teenagers between 1975 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
 three fast
food
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 experienced different
treends
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trends
 in the time
period
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 .
While
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Pizza
consumption
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 and
rose of
Verb problem
apply
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Hamburgers with some growth ,
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consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
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 of fish and chips fell over time by Australian teenagers . As the line graph shows fast
food
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consumption
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 of Pizza figure started at
approxmetly
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approximately
 10
million
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times
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 in 1975 followed by sharp growth
just
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of just
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 over 80
million
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 next over 3 years
period
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 between 1975 and 1985 .
Then
Linking Words
 it fell to 100
million
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times
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 in 2000. Regarding
hamburgers
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hamburger
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consuption
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consumption
 in 1975 they consumed
approxmetly
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approximately
 10
million
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times
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 of
hamburger
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hamburgers
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.
This
Linking Words
 figure increased sharply just over 80
million
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times
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 in 1985 . Ten their consumptions experienced slight
growyh
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growth
 100
million
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times
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 throughout the
period
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 from 1980 to 2000 .
By contrast
Linking Words
 , the
consumption
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fish
Change preposition
of fish
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 and chips experienced
Correct article usage
a considrable
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considrable
Correct your spelling
considerable
 decline in the sex years
period
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 . In 1975 nearly 100
million
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times
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 were consumed but
this
Linking Words
 number fell to about just over 80
million
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times
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 in 1980 .
Then
Linking Words
consumption
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climb
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climbs
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 a little .
Change the spelling
Afterwards
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Afterward
Add a comma
Afterward,
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 the figure showed dramatically decline to 95
million
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 and less from 40
million
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times
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 in 1985 and 2000 respectively.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, period, consumption, million, times with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 3 times.
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