Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

In the modern era, some
people
are working long hours for their development and they are spending very little
time
on their leisure activities. I believe that
people
who are working long hours, it is for their
growth
but
also
I strongly believe it has more advantages. In
this
essay, we will discuss
this
merit with relevant examples from my own
experience
.
To begin
with,
people
who
work
more
time
for their
growth
, promotion and
also
for getting knowledge in their field.
People
believe having
this
kind of
experience
may lead to the next level.
For instance
, if they
work
better they can increase their production and
also
they can learn certain things from the stack holders easily how the chain process of the product and the customer requirements.
Additionally
,
this
experience
might be really helpful for them to increase their skills. They can be managed in any kind of situation.
Secondly
,
people
can own their businesses with the help of working long
time
,
this
experience
can be very useful for their development.
Moreover
,
people
can get attached to the stack holders and they can get more offers for their business.
For instance
,
people
who
work
on premises
Add a hyphen
on-premises
show examples
can easily contact the suppliers for their business
growth
, they
also
can get an offer from the supplier, especially a discount on the price value of the materials. These kind of benefits
people
can get it from the vendor
To conclude
,
people
who are working more than hours get benefits for their
growth
and development. In my personal opinion,
people
who
work
more leisure
time
can easily survey in their daily life, or else it might help them grow their own business.
Submitted by saravanan.ko2011 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to organize your points in a more structured manner. Consider using clear paragraphs with distinct ideas that flow logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Ensure all your main points are fully supported with examples and explanations. This helps in enhancing clarity and depth of response.
task achievement
Make sure all parts of the question are addressed. While you presented the advantages, it would also strengthen your essay to mention or briefly discuss potential disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
You have included a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument effectively.
task achievement
You have started with the advantages of working long hours by linking them with personal and career growth, which addresses the question effectively.
task achievement
Utilization of examples from professional settings is a good way to illustrate your points.

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