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Band 1

In many countries, recently young single people have been living far from their parents, from the time they began studies or work and until they married. Do you think there are more advantages or disadvantages to this trend?

#countries #people #parents #time #studies #work #trend
Most
of
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apply
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people in my country
lives
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live
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 with their parents until they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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begin to study at university or marry.I guess it's more disadvantages but
however
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however,
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live
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living
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 with your parent it's
safely
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safe
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 and comfortable. When we
finished
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finish
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 at school in teenagers age often we
will
Verb problem
apply
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go to the big city to find a good university and job.
Its
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It's
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basical
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basically
basic
 action for people In my country.So it's normal
lead
Fix the infinitive
to lead
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peaceful
Correct article usage
a peaceful
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 life.But if you want extremely live without your parents we can live out In another country with new people and new begins.We have more possibility for that
Overall
 I prefer to live at home comfortably until study in
new
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a new
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sity
Correct your spelling
city
site
.
Its
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It's
It is
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 easier
to
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for
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 me and my parents.
Submitted by nematilla.anar on

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introduction organization
Start with an introduction that clearly outlines whether you think there are more advantages or disadvantages. This helps in setting the stage for your argument.
idea development
Develop each point with more depth and examples. For instance, you could elaborate on how living away might impact personal development, independence, cultural exposure, etc.
clarity of reasons
Ensure the reasons for living at home or moving away are clearly presented and expanded upon.
task relevance
You have tackled the main aspects of the task by mentioning both living with parents and moving away, indicating a general awareness of both situations.
idea clarity
Your idea that living with parents is safe and comfortable comes through clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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