In some countries the average weight of people is increasing, and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

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Nowadays, the average mass of
people
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is growing,
accordingly
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, their
health
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and fitness are spoilt. Doubtless,
this
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can happen
due to
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several factors,
nevertheless
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, there are a couple of methods
which
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by which
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we can tackle
with
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apply
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these issues. There are several factors influencing directly
to
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apply
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people
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’s
weight
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maybe,
this
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is
due to
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through activity or development of technology. Nowadays, most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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people
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adapted
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adopted
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their phones which, directly impacts our
health
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as a result
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, we can’t eat normally
according to
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eating
time
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instead
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of
this
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we
booked
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book
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fast food or something healthy. Eventually, doubtless
people
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's
weight
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enhanced automatically
according to
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their activity.
Furthermore
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, these days
people
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are more likely to focus their attention on their work in connection with
this
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they don’t have enough
time
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to eat properly.
However
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, we can tackle all of these issues
first,
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we have to take more
time
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for ourselves.Perhaps,we may have necessary work
nevertheless
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, I still opine the best thing in the world is our
health
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always we must take care of our body.
Apart from
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this
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, we should eat healthier,always we try to avoid
from
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apply
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fast food
in addition
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to
this
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we should do sports in our free
time
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and doubtless I believe that
this
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is one of the significant factors for to
loose
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lose
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weight
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.As long as we complete all of these requirements not only we feel more healthy but
also
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briskly.
To sum up
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, the significant problem of our
time
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the
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is the
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average limit of
the
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apply
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people
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is rising appropriately their
health
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and fitness are suffering. If we want to normalize the
weight
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of
the
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apply
show examples
society at large, we need to pay attention to the problems we have given above and through the solutions we have shown, we can start a healthier and fitter life.
Submitted by alialiyevv423 on

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task achievement
Try to introduce more specific examples to support your points. Instead of general statements, think about particular scenarios or data that illustrate the issue more vividly.
coherence cohesion
Focus on developing a clearer, more structured progression of ideas. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and that your points build on each other logically.
task achievement
Work on clarity and precision in expressing your ideas. Ensure that your sentences convey your ideas effectively without unnecessary complexity or ambiguity.
task achievement
You have addressed the task with a clear understanding of the problem, offering a reasonable solution and explanation.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which helps frame your response effectively.
task achievement
You incorporated a good mix of ideas to discuss the causes and solutions related to the increase in average weight and decline in health.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • physical activity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • exercise
  • unhealthy diet
  • fast food
  • urbanization
  • modernization
  • stress
  • awareness
  • education
  • government intervention
  • policies
  • promotion
  • sports
  • fitness programs
  • health education
  • taxation
  • public transportation
  • infrastructure
  • parks
  • recreational spaces
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