You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

Most argued debate that some
people
believe advanced
technology
has
brough
Correct your spelling
brought
people
together,
while
many
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
it has made them distant from one another.
Although
,
latest
Add an article
the latest
show examples
technology
has
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
relationship,
while
I think it has given easy access to reach one another.
To begin
with, there is
popular
Correct article usage
a popular
show examples
arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
that smartphones and computers
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
driven
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
apart.
People
are spending more
time
on social media rather
to spend
Change preposition
than spending
show examples
time
with their family and friends. They try to explore
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
through
technology
,
while
they are unaware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
the situation around them.
For example
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
recent
survey
Add a comma
survey,
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
shows that
people
are spending more
time
on
Add an article
a smartphone
the smartphone
show examples
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
eating food and
communiticating
Correct your spelling
communicating
with their families.
Technology
has made
people
more lazy and demanding. Humans pretend that they are happy with their technical world, but they are not as spending less
time
with family
gives
Verb problem
causes
show examples
stress and anxiety because they are not sharing their emotions
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
the family.
On the other hand
,
technology
has
shorten
Change the verb form
shortened
show examples
the distance for communication.
People
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
easy access to social media, as they can talk to their family or
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
through smartphones or
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
.
People
can easily narrate their
emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
show examples
through video calls.
Technology
has made human life way easier. In
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
people
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
to wait long years to see their beloved
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
faces if they
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
living in different
coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
or different
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
of
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
show examples
, but now their family is just one click away.
People
can check on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
peoples
Change to a genitive case
people's
peoples'
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
thorugh
Correct your spelling
through
social media by
check
Change the verb form
checking
show examples
their current stories, feeds and pictures.
To conclude
, everything has pros and
cos
Correct your spelling
cons
show examples
.
Due to
Change preposition
Technology
show examples
technology
advancement and
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
show examples
have made
people
less communal, but the
positives sides
Fix the agreement mistake
positive side
show examples
is that improvements allow humans to be informed about each other’s lives is a bigger achievement.
Submitted by mubassirakolia78 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve task response, ensure all aspects of the question are addressed comprehensively. Including more varied examples could strengthen arguments. In some parts of the essay, the response could be more complete, with additional examples or explanations to fully elaborate on points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay would benefit from a clearer overall structure. Use logical paragraphing to separate distinct points. Transitions between ideas should be more cohesive, using linking words to ensure flow and clarity. This will enhance the readability of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulate the main arguments, providing a strong starting and ending point for the essay. The conclusion wraps up the discussion well, summarizing the main points succinctly and offering a balanced view.
complete response
The essay attempts to address both sides of the argument, striving to maintain balance in discussing how technology impacts relationships, which fulfills the task to a reasonable extent.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fostering
  • Global connections
  • Isolation
  • Diminished
  • Face-to-face interactions
  • Cultural and geographical divides
  • Paradox
  • Social media
  • Alienating
  • Family dynamics
  • Echo chambers
  • Polarize
  • Marginalized communities
  • Inclusivity
  • Maintaining relationships
  • Evolution of communication
  • Instant messaging
  • Video calls
  • Technological advances
  • Collaboration
  • Remote isolation
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!