Some people think sending criminals to prison is not an effective way to deal with them. Education and training are better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #criminals #prison #education

Several individuals believe that putting crimes

Change preposition

show examples

prison is not an effective solution to cope with them

however

education

and

traning

Correct your spelling

training

are better. Personally, I partly agree with

this

statement because

some

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of some

show examples

major reasons which I shall explain in more detail in

this

essay. On the one hand,

education

and training are

though

Correct your spelling

thought

show examples

to be more successful than imprisonment

to address

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in addressing

show examples

criminal

Add an article

the criminal

show examples

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

since fact reports have proven that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unfficient

Correct your spelling

efficient

inefficient

education

is one of

primary

Add an article

the primary

show examples

reasons resulting in criminal behaviours.

Therefore

, we can see in fact the higher rate of offenders coming from

low

Correct word choice

the lower

show examples

class in society, particularly,

slum

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in slum

show examples

areas where most people could not access

education

enough.

They

Correct your spelling

The

show examples

scarcity

both

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of both

show examples

knowlege

Correct your spelling

knowledge

and awareness

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

this

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

cause

Correct subject-verb agreement

causes

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

difficulties in career opportunities.

Consequently

, they will engage in illegal acts to earn money

for covering

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to cover

show examples

living

cost

Fix the agreement mistake

costs

show examples

and

survivel

Correct your spelling

survive

On the other hand

, some said that with the aim of dealing with serious lawbreakers effectively, there is a need

Change preposition

for

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

harmony between punishment and

education

for jails to recognize their illegal engagements and

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not dare to

reoffend

Correct your spelling

re-offend

offend

. Because if the law only focuses on the

education

for

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show examples

wrongders

Correct your spelling

wrongdoers

and

not

Add a missing verb

does not

show examples

deter them by punishments

such

as sending them to prison, they will see that the consequence for their

crimal activites

Correct your spelling

criminal activities

is very easy.

Hence

, they will still commit

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

further

offense

Change the spelling

offence

show examples

without fear of punishment.

As a result

of the increasing number of delinquents. In

conlusion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

, I partly agree with the idea

Change preposition

that

show examples

putting crimes

Change preposition

show examples

prison is not an effective resolution to deal with them

while

education

and training are more effective because I

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that to achieve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

effective dealing with

criminal

Add an article

the criminal

a criminal

show examples

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

, the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

should apply both

education

and imprisonment to chastise

theircriminal

Correct your spelling

their criminal

engagements,

especialy

Correct your spelling

especially

, dangerous crimes.

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph supports the main argument in a logical and clear manner. Some sentences could be better structured to convey your points more cohesively.

task achievement

To enhance your task achievement score, it’s important to fully develop your ideas with more detailed explanations and relevant examples.

task achievement

The examples provided could be more specific and relevant to strengthen the argument, making your essay more compelling and convincing.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion clearly state your position and provide a framework for the discussion.

task achievement

You've addressed both sides of the argument, showing a balanced understanding of the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think sending criminals to prison is not an effective way to deal with them. Education and training are better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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SMore and more transitional companies are setting up their business operations in economically developing nations. In this essay, I will discuss about some benefits and drawbacks of the inhabitants who live in those countries.