Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, and what solutions can be offered?
Nowadays, it is a normal
occurence
to see Correct your spelling
occurrence
children
with adult's
types of illness. The most common disease suffered by Change noun form
adult
children
is obesity
. This
essay explains the causes of this
alarming phenomenon and the solutions to prevent the number from increasing.
Variety
of sugary drinks found in the market are catching the attention of many young Correct article usage
A variety
children
which often lead
to excessive drinking Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
habit
. Consuming unhealthy beverages frequently Fix the agreement mistake
habits
increase
the risk of diabetes. On top of that, the Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
parents
' lack of attention to their children
Change noun form
children's
food
and drink consumption is the main reason of
Change preposition
for
this
issue. The inability to control food
and drink intake of the child, Correct article usage
the food
such
as frequently feeding them fast food
and letting them drink sugary beverages, for a considerable amount of time
will immediately result in health complications. Add the comma(s)
time,
For example
, obesity
is one of the biggest health concerns in the US since many people, including parents
, are often careless about the danger that unhealthy foods might have. As a result
, the number of people who become obese is
Verb problem
has
growing
over the years.
The solution Wrong verb form
grown
of
Change preposition
to
this
concern can be done by the parents
with the help of the government. Firstly
, parents
need to have
Verb problem
be
awareness
of Replace the word
aware
maximum
sugar and calorie daily intake of Correct article usage
the maximum
children
and pay full attention to what their childer
are consuming. Correct your spelling
children
In addition
, the goverment
can help with the regulations that can be applied to restaurants and Correct your spelling
government
school
. For Fix the agreement mistake
schools
the
restaurants, they need to put Correct article usage
apply
the
information Correct article usage
apply
of
the calories for each meal to prevent overconsumption and for Change preposition
on
school
to promote healthy eating habits for the students and encourage them to Fix the agreement mistake
schools
execise
to stay fit. Correct your spelling
exercise
For instance
, the cafes in South Korea are stating the calories of each drinks
and Change to a singular noun
drink
snacks
to raise Fix the agreement mistake
snack
awareness
of obesity
. Therefore
, the combination of individual awareness
and government regulation might be helpful to reduce the risk of obesity
.
In conclusion, the main reason of
Change preposition
for
obesity
comes from the parents
who failed
to control Wrong verb form
fail
children's
Correct pronoun usage
their children's
food
intake and the best solution to offer is to raise individual awareness
regarding overconsumption and to
the Change preposition
for
goverment
to make health-related regulations.Correct your spelling
government
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Language Precision
Ensure consistent use of singular and plural forms (e.g., "children's food intake" instead of "children food intake").
Language Varied Sentence Structure
Enhance sentence variety by incorporating different sentence structures, such as compound and complex sentences.
Task Response Clarification
Clarify the distinction between 'drinks increasing the risk of diabetes' and obesity to maintain clarity between different health concerns.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses both causes and solutions clearly, fulfilling the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
Logical progression is maintained throughout the essay, guiding the reader through the arguments effectively.
Task Achievement Relevant Examples
Good use of examples such as the mention of the U.S. and South Korea to illustrate points, making the argument more tangible.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...