IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#future #nobody #newspapers #books
Some
people
 consider that in the near future, many
people
 will read everything online for free
instead
 of
giving
Verb problem
being
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
interest
Replace the word
interested
show examples
 in reading ordinary
books
 and newspapers.
While
 others argue that
people
 won't forget the
overweight
Replace the word
weight
show examples
 of real
books
 and magazines. In my personal view, after several decades
people
 will stop
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
 printed
books
 and start reading online
books
. In
this
 essay, I will explain the advantages and disadvantages of both sides and my position.
Although
 reading offline
books
 has several advantages,in the near future
people
 will choose online reading without any payment. At the outset, in the twenty-first century, students can read e-
books
 anywhere and anytime.
Furthermore
,they can find any type
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
genre of
books
 for free and much faster and with these
books
 they can learn new information,strategies,overseas' worldviews and cultures too. Another interesting thing is that via e-
books
people
 can save trees,which need to be cut for the papers of ordinary
books
. If
people
 choose online
books
,they can save their time,future and nature.
To sum up
,
people
 will choose online
books
 for the mentioned reasons
instead
 of buying printed ones.
On the other hand
, ordinary
books
 are more overweight than online reading
books
.
Firstly
,
people
 can concentrate easily on printed
books
.
Moreover
, they can help to save
people
's health.
For example
, electronic reading can damage a person's eyes and brain.
However
, printed
books
 do not damage a person's eyesight and brain.In conclusion,
people
 won't stop buying offline
books
,if they want to save their health. In conclusion,
although
 offline
books
 can help to save
people
's health,online reading has many more advantages than that.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follow a consistent progression of ideas. This will help in maintaining a smooth flow and keep the reader engaged.
task achievement
The essay could benefit from more specific examples and evidence to strengthen the arguments. Use real-world examples or statistics to support your points.
task achievement
Avoid repeating ideas in the conclusion. Instead, synthesize the information presented to offer a more concise and effective closing statement.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which helps in guiding the reader.
task achievement
You presented a balanced discussion by providing both viewpoints, which strengthens your essay’s task response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • cost-effective
  • cultural value
  • sentimental value
  • reliability
  • distracting
  • access to
  • digital devices
  • internet
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