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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the recycling process of aluminum cans. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.

The diagram below shows the recycling process of aluminum cans. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.
#process #aluminum #cans #summarise #information #features #comparisons #relevent
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The given diagram illustrates the
step by
Add a hyphen
step-by-step
show examples
step
 process of the recycling of
aluminums
Correct your spelling
aluminium
cans
.
Overall
, The process involves seven consecutive steps starting with gathering old used
cans
 from
dustbin
Add an article
the dustbin
show examples
, to
converted
Wrong verb form
converting
show examples
into
Correct pronoun usage
them into
show examples
new
Add an article
the new
a new
show examples
 recycled
can
Fix the agreement mistake
cans
show examples
.
To begin
 with, at first used
cans
 are collected by garbage trucks from different dustbins present in the area.
Second
Change the article
The second
show examples
step
 involves cleaning
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cans
 and
then
sorting
Correct pronoun usage
sorting them
show examples
. After that, these
cans
 are compressed
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 big compressors. These compressed
block
Fix the agreement mistake
blocks
show examples
 of
cans
 are heated at
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
show examples
 which
converted
Wrong verb form
converts
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 into molten liquid.
This
 liquid
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
 cool down and converted into thin sheets of 2.5mm to 6mm thickness. These sheets are
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
 rolled to
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fit in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 rolling machine. In the
last
 second
step
,
rolling
Add an article
the rolling
a rolling
show examples
 machine cuts the metal in the shape of
cans
.
Hence
, at the
last
 newly recycled aluminum
cans
 are
produce
Wrong verb form
produced
show examples
. In the UK, around a quarter of
cans
 are recycled
cans
.
Submitted by merujain2221 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words step, cans with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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