Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economics around the world.However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, many countries encourage
the
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apply
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tourism
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as it is
one
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of the most significant
reason
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reasons
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for growing
its
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their
show examples
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economics
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economies
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,
while
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others believe that the negative of
tourism
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could be
out weigh
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outweigh
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the benefits.
However
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, in
this
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essay, I will discuss both perspectives and
proivde
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provide
my own opinion. On the
one
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hand,
tourism
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have
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has
show examples
several advantages that could help the
country
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.
firstly
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, improve the
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economics
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economy
show examples
,
that
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which
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will help the
country
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to grow up and be
one
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of the biggest
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economics
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economic
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countries.
Secondly
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, the
people
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around the world will
known
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know
show examples
more about
this
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place and the culture of it.
For example
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,
the
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in the
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last
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decade Turkey
improve
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has improved
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its
economic
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economy
show examples
using
tourism
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. Turkey used its series to
shows
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show
show examples
its beauty,
thus
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inspired
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inspiring
show examples
thousand
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thousands
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of
people
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to visit it. Now, Turkey
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one
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is one
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of the most places
vicited
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visited
around the world and for sure it
help
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helps
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it's
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its
show examples
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economics
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economy
show examples
to
rase
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rise
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.
On the other hand
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, the damage that tourists can
make
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cause
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in the countries they
visited
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visit
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could be big and
also
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they can be rude
for
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to
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the local
people
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.
For instance
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, in Paris, at the Olympic games time, many visitors came to
watched
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watch
show examples
it.
However
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, a lot of them
made
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caused
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numerous
problem
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problems
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at
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in
show examples
the city or for local
people
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.
Therefore
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, I firmly agree with
this
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point, but
also
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we can work to solve
this
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problem, my suggest to
puished
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punished
those who made damages for any
reasons
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reason
show examples
, the
country
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should let him back to his
country
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and
also
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buy a fine. In conclusion,
tourism
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will always be
one
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of the best
way
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ways
show examples
to increase the
country
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on various things, if there is a problem the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
should solve it.
Submitted by daliaakram35 on

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task achievement
Try to further develop your ideas and provide more specific examples. For instance, when discussing tourism's economic benefits, include statistics or studies if possible.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with grammar and spelling errors like "vicited" instead of "visited" or "puished" instead of "punished". Such mistakes can make your ideas less clear.
coherence cohesion
Consider adding transitional phrases and linking words to better connect your ideas. It helps improve the flow and clarity of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You've included both perspectives on the issue, which shows balance in your argument.
supported main points
You provide a relevant example of how tourism has benefitted Turkey economically.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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