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Band 5.5

Nowadays, we are producing more and nore rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can government do to reduce the amount of rubbish produced?

#nore #rubbish #government #amount
In today's more advanced
world
, the amount of waste we are producing has been seeing a rapid increase. From my perspective ,the main reason behind
this
 problem is overconsumption. State governments should impose some new policies
such
 as restrictions on
production
 in order to reduce the amount of
rubbish
.
To begin
, over the past couple of
decades
Add a comma
decades,
show examples
 the
world
's industries have been developing in terms of quantities of products being produced . Myriad of new items and products are manufactured and can be found in abundance.
Consequently
, it leads to huge consumption of these consumer goods by
world's
Correct article usage
the world's
show examples
 burgeoning population .
Due to
 excessive consumption of
such
 goods ,
greater
Add an article
the greater
a greater
show examples
 amount of
rubbish
 is generated every single year ,especially in countries that are more well-developed than others.
In addition
 , the number of people living on Earth has
bığ
Verb problem
apply
show examples
contribution
Replace the word
contributed
show examples
 to soaring quantities of waste . The more people living
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the planet ,
means
Verb problem
apply
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 more waste
being
Add a missing verb
is being
show examples
 produced.
For example
, the
world
 now has
four
Correct article usage
a four
show examples
 times larger population compared to
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 century and it's readily apparent that today's
rubbish
 amounts cannot be compared to those of
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 century. As in every
acpect
Correct your spelling
aspect
 of life, governments have
power
Change the article
the power
show examples
 to change current circumstances. In order to decrease these extensive
production
 rates ,some restrictive policies can be levied on companies that account for the largest proportion of
world's
Correct article usage
the world's
show examples
production
.
For instance
,
instead
 of manufacturing substantial amounts of products ,companies should be required to decrease their
production
 .So
it
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 will result in
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 consumer goods on the
markets
Fix the agreement mistake
market
show examples
 shelves and people cannot purchase many of them which eventually
transformed
Wrong verb form
transform
show examples
 into
rubbish
. All in all ,
rubbish
 is one of the significant problems that
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 is confronting .it is mainly caused by overconsumption
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
Correct article usage
an
show examples
overpopulated
world
.
Furthermore
, governments are able to take some serious actions
such
 as putting some limitations on companies'
production
.
Submitted by Name_1234 on

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Language Use
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Argument Development
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Accuracy
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Task Response
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Structure
Your organization of ideas and use of paragraphs show good cohesion and coherence, facilitating easy understanding for the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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