IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Task one graph shows the number of weekly hospital admissions in five hospitals in a country in europ in 2004 to 2018

Task one graph shows the number of weekly hospital admissions in five hospitals in a country in europ in 2004 to 2018
#admissions #five #hospitals #country #europ
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of hospital
Use synonyms
admission
Fix the agreement mistake
admissions
show examples
 on
weekly
Correct article usage
a weekly
show examples
 basis for five different
hospitals
Use synonyms
 in one country in
Europ
Correct your spelling
Europe
show examples
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
from the year 2004 to 2018. It is notable that over the years four
hospitals
Use synonyms
 had an increase in hospital
admissions
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 Oxaly
hospital
Capitalize word
Hospital
show examples
 experienced a significant decrease in the
number
Use synonyms
 of admitted people. In 2004, Oxley was the hospital with the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of patients
Use synonyms
admission
Replace the word
admitted
show examples
 with 250
person
Change to a plural noun
people
show examples
 per
week
Use synonyms
 and experienced a downward trend over the 14-year period and reached a low of 110 admonitions per
week
Use synonyms
. Fortsmith
hospital
Capitalize word
Hospital
show examples
 had around 180
admissions
Use synonyms
 in the year 2004
then
Linking Words
 experienced some fluctuation between 2010 and 2014 before they (Time finished here)
levlled
Correct your spelling
levelled
 off at 200
admissions
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
. Adlin
hospital
Capitalize word
Hospital
show examples
had120
Correct your spelling
had 120
Use synonyms
admission
Fix the agreement mistake
admissions
show examples
 in 2004
then
Linking Words
 experienced a substantial increase in the
number
Use synonyms
 of hospital
Use synonyms
admission
Fix the agreement mistake
admissions
show examples
 over 14 years,
then
Linking Words
 soared to 250
admissions
Use synonyms
 in 2018. The hospital
Use synonyms
admission
Fix the agreement mistake
admissions
show examples
 in both Bradly and Sandton
hospitals
Use synonyms
 were 200 and 80 respectively
admissions
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
. Both
hospitals
Use synonyms
 saw a gradual rise in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
admissions
Use synonyms
 until they ended at 270 and 160
admissions
Use synonyms
 in the year 2018.
Submitted by ghadeersulami on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, admission, hospitals, admissions, week with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: