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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Task one graph shows the number of weekly hospital admissions in five hospitals in a country in europ in 2004 to 2018

Task one graph shows the number of weekly hospital admissions in five hospitals in a country in europ in 2004 to 2018
The graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of hospital
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admission
Fix the agreement mistake
admissions
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 on
weekly
Correct article usage
a weekly
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 basis for five different
hospitals
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 in one country in
Europ
Correct your spelling
Europe
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over
Change preposition
apply
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from the year 2004 to 2018. It is notable that over the years four
hospitals
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 had an increase in hospital
admissions
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whereas
Linking Words
 Oxaly
hospital
Capitalize word
Hospital
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 experienced a significant decrease in the
number
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 of admitted people. In 2004, Oxley was the hospital with the highest
number
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 of patients
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admission
Replace the word
admitted
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 with 250
person
Change to a plural noun
people
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 per
week
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 and experienced a downward trend over the 14-year period and reached a low of 110 admonitions per
week
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. Fortsmith
hospital
Capitalize word
Hospital
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 had around 180
admissions
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 in the year 2004
then
Linking Words
 experienced some fluctuation between 2010 and 2014 before they (Time finished here)
levlled
Correct your spelling
levelled
 off at 200
admissions
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 per
week
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. Adlin
hospital
Capitalize word
Hospital
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had120
Correct your spelling
had 120
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admission
Fix the agreement mistake
admissions
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 in 2004
then
Linking Words
 experienced a substantial increase in the
number
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 of hospital
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admission
Fix the agreement mistake
admissions
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 over 14 years,
then
Linking Words
 soared to 250
admissions
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 in 2018. The hospital
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admission
Fix the agreement mistake
admissions
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 in both Bradly and Sandton
hospitals
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 were 200 and 80 respectively
admissions
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 per
week
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. Both
hospitals
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 saw a gradual rise in the
number
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 of
admissions
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 until they ended at 270 and 160
admissions
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 in the year 2018.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, admission, hospitals, admissions, week with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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