IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In the future, it seems it will be more difficult to live on the Earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#future #earth #people #money #planets
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It seems that it will be more difficult to live on the
earth
Use synonyms
 in the future. Some people believe that more
money
Use synonyms
 should be invested in researching other
planets
Use synonyms
 to live
such
Linking Words
 as Mars. I personally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint because researching other
planets
Use synonyms
 to live
requires
Change preposition
on requires
show examples
 a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
, and the
Earth
Use synonyms
 can be properly utilized for living. Researching on
planets
Use synonyms
 to find an alternative planet for living consumes a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
. Spending a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 on these types of research projects is not possible for all countries.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Mars and other
planets
Use synonyms
 are full of carbon dioxides and other harmful elements which make these
planets
Use synonyms
 impossible for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
Fix the infinitive
to survival
show examples
survival
Replace the word
survive
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, spending a huge amount of
money
Use synonyms
 on researching
planets
Use synonyms
 is not wise.
For example
Linking Words
,
Nasa
Correct your spelling
NASA
show examples
 has invested a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 to find water
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 Mars,
however
Linking Words
, after 3 years of long research and wasting a large sum of
money
Use synonyms
, no water was found.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
Earth
Use synonyms
 will be a suitable place for living if we can protect it for the future. We have to keep in mind that the
Earth
Use synonyms
 is the only place for us to live,
therefore
Linking Words
, we should take care of it. We can take several measures to protect the
Earth
Use synonyms
. We can plant more trees, reduce carbon emissions, and avoid using plastic materials to save the
Earth
Use synonyms
 from degradation.
For example
Linking Words
, numerous environmental organizations are taking protective measures to save the
Earth
Use synonyms
 from degradation. They have announced rewards if the public reduces carbon emissions. In conclusion, research for finding an alternative planet to live requires a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
, and many countries cannot afford it. Protecting and properly utilizing the
Earth
Use synonyms
 for the future for living is a better option.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
To strengthen your task achievement, consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments. This will help clarify your points and give more depth to your response.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure that all your points seamlessly connect to reinforce your stance. This can be achieved by using more linking words or phrases to create smooth transitions between ideas.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, providing valid reasons and examples for its position.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively summarize your viewpoint and main arguments, providing a well-rounded response.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure, with each paragraph focused on a central idea that supports the overall argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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