Topic: digital communication technology such as email, instant messaging and social media has improved communication and connection between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree
In modern times, the technology used for communication
have
vastly changed and improved the interaction of mankind. In Change the verb form
has
this
essay, I will discuss why I strongly agree on
the instant modes of media and its positive implications towards exchanges.
Change preposition
with
Firstly
, digital communication paved the way to transfer messages quickly and conveniently. As a result
, people
can communicate to
their loved ones easier, compared before. Take an example, overseas worker before Change preposition
with
tend
to go to Change the verb form
tends
post
office in order to send their message to their family. Add an article
the post
a post
Whereas today
, foreign employees can use their Correct word choice
Today
phone
and social media applications to talk to their families. Fix the agreement mistake
phones
Due to
the availability of the tool, families can still stay updated and closer even if they are miles apart with
each other.
Change preposition
from
Secondly
, aside from the blood relatives getting more
closer, Fix the agreement mistake
apply
friends
and lovers can maintain their intimacy. Before the rise of social messaging applications, most of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
maintain friends
by close proximity. However
, because of emails, facetime and viber
individuals can still connect to their childhood Change the capitalization
Viber
friends
who migrated to other places. For instance
, long-lost childhood friends
can be traced and talked thru
the use of social media. In comparison before, it is hard to locate a person by just letters and printed leaflets.
Correct your spelling
through
Thirdly
, connection to people
does not limit its benefit to personal business but also
on
Change preposition
to
career
. Add an article
a career
the career
This
is thru
the use of emails and internet platforms a potential applicant can send out samples of their qualifications and output online. Correct your spelling
through
As a result
, interested employer
can select and reach out to probable Fix the agreement mistake
employers
employer
.
To sum it up, modern technology helped Fix the agreement mistake
employers
people
to be connected with each other in various ways. Additionally
, there are different forms of togetherness it yields to every individual such
as immigrants, acquintances
, Correct your spelling
acquaintances
friends
, and employee-employer relationship
.Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
Submitted by emmagallares on
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task response
To achieve a higher score, aim to expand your essay by providing more balanced arguments. You might consider acknowledging some potential downsides or challenges of digital communication technology.
coherence cohesion
To enhance logical structure in your essay, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to clarify the relationships between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, giving a strong framework for your discussion.
task achievement
You effectively support your main points with relevant examples, such as the use of social media by overseas workers and friends reconnecting online.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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