Topic: digital communication technology such as email, instant messaging and social media has improved communication and connection between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree

In modern times, the technology used for communication
have
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has
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vastly changed and improved the interaction of mankind. In
this
essay, I will discuss why I strongly agree
on
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with
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the instant modes of media and its positive implications towards exchanges.
Firstly
, digital communication paved the way to transfer messages quickly and conveniently.
As a result
,
people
can communicate
to
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with
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their loved ones easier, compared before. Take an example, overseas worker before
tend
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tends
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to go to
post
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the post
a post
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office in order to send their message to their family.
Whereas today
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Today
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, foreign employees can use their
phone
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phones
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and social media applications to talk to their families.
Due to
the availability of the tool, families can still stay updated and closer even if they are miles apart
with
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from
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each other.
Secondly
, aside from the blood relatives getting
more
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apply
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closer,
friends
and lovers can maintain their intimacy. Before the rise of social messaging applications, most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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people
maintain
friends
by close proximity.
However
, because of emails, facetime and
viber
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Viber
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individuals can still connect to their childhood
friends
who migrated to other places.
For instance
, long-lost childhood
friends
can be traced and talked
thru
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through
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the use of social media. In comparison before, it is hard to locate a person by just letters and printed leaflets.
Thirdly
, connection to
people
does not limit its benefit to personal business but
also
on
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to
show examples
career
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a career
the career
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.
This
is
thru
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through
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the use of emails and internet platforms a potential applicant can send out samples of their qualifications and output online.
As a result
, interested
employer
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employers
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can select and reach out to probable
employer
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employers
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. To sum it up, modern technology helped
people
to be connected with each other in various ways.
Additionally
, there are different forms of togetherness it yields to every individual
such
as immigrants,
acquintances
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acquaintances
,
friends
, and employee-employer
relationship
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relationships
show examples
.
Submitted by emmagallares on

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task response
To achieve a higher score, aim to expand your essay by providing more balanced arguments. You might consider acknowledging some potential downsides or challenges of digital communication technology.
coherence cohesion
To enhance logical structure in your essay, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to clarify the relationships between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, giving a strong framework for your discussion.
task achievement
You effectively support your main points with relevant examples, such as the use of social media by overseas workers and friends reconnecting online.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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