Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economics around the world.However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many individuals claim that
although
the tourist industry is one of the most burgeoning fields and brings positive economical
consequences, its negative influences on indigenous Correct word choice
economic
cultures
and environment
are minimally evaluated. In Correct article usage
the environment
this
essay, I elaborate on the reasons why I totally advocate this
view.
The first reason why I believe negative
effects on local Correct article usage
the negative
cultures
by tourism
are disregarded is that a number of traditions across the world are becoming more commercialized. For instance
, rituals to pray gods
, which used to be isolated to foreigners and held seasonally, are taking place every day to attract tourists Change preposition
to gods
in
various parts of the world. Regarding performers of ceremonies, they are hired and involved as a part of show business. Change preposition
from
This
phenomenon causes to
impair the Correct pronoun usage
them to
understandings
of ceremonies and their own Fix the agreement mistake
understanding
cultures
.
Another justification for my view is that tourism
is inclined to be prioritised over its drawbacks to the environment. Taking Bali, a beuatiful
island in Indonesia, as an example, many hotels and restaurants are constructed on the seafront to accommodate visitors. Correct your spelling
beautiful
Although
they have attained great economical
success by doing so, they are Correct word choice
economic
also
facing severe air and water pollutions
. Despite these looming threats, the authorities still hesitate to take stringent precautions Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
in
fear of losing business opportunities.
In conclusion, I vehemently agree with the opinion that Change preposition
for
while
tourism
is beneficial economically, it is also
disadvantageous in terms of preserving local cultures
and nature and concerns over them are seldom considered. Now that negative
aspects of Correct article usage
the negative
tourism
are well recognised, sustainable exploitation from cultural and environmental points of view should be incorporated.Submitted by takuya13sugimoto on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Expand the introduction to provide a clearer outline of your main arguments, giving the reader a better sense of direction from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the coherence by ensuring smoother transitions between ideas and consistently linking back to the main question throughout the essay.
task achievement
While the essay addresses the topic well, try to integrate more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance clarity and depth of ideas.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples like Bali and rituals turned into show business, which effectively illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay consistently maintained a focus on the question of tourism's impact despite discussing different aspects.
coherence cohesion
The essay presented a clear conclusion, summarizing the main points and suggesting a solution.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite