Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economics around the world.However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#tourism #industries #economics #world #damage #cultures #environment

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Many individuals claim that

although

Linking Words

the tourist industry is one of the most burgeoning fields and brings positive

economical

Correct word choice

economic

show examples

consequences, its negative influences on indigenous

cultures

Use synonyms

and

environment

Correct article usage

the environment

show examples

are minimally evaluated. In

this

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essay, I elaborate on the reasons why I totally advocate

this

Linking Words

view. The first reason why I believe

negative

Correct article usage

the negative

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effects on local

cultures

Use synonyms

tourism

Use synonyms

are disregarded is that a number of traditions across the world are becoming more commercialized.

For instance

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, rituals to pray

gods

Change preposition

to gods

show examples

, which used to be isolated to foreigners and held seasonally, are taking place every day to attract tourists

Change preposition

from

show examples

various parts of the world. Regarding performers of ceremonies, they are hired and involved as a part of show business.

This

Linking Words

phenomenon causes

Correct pronoun usage

them to

show examples

impair the

understandings

Fix the agreement mistake

understanding

show examples

of ceremonies and their own

cultures

Use synonyms

. Another justification for my view is that

tourism

Use synonyms

is inclined to be prioritised over its drawbacks to the environment. Taking Bali, a

beuatiful

Correct your spelling

beautiful

island in Indonesia, as an example, many hotels and restaurants are constructed on the seafront to accommodate visitors.

Although

Linking Words

they have attained great

economical

Correct word choice

economic

show examples

success by doing so, they are

also

Linking Words

facing severe air and water

pollutions

Fix the agreement mistake

pollution

show examples

. Despite these looming threats, the authorities still hesitate to take stringent precautions

Change preposition

for

show examples

fear of losing business opportunities. In conclusion, I vehemently agree with the opinion that

while

Linking Words

tourism

Use synonyms

is beneficial economically, it is

also

Linking Words

disadvantageous in terms of preserving local

cultures

Use synonyms

and nature and concerns over them are seldom considered. Now that

negative

Correct article usage

the negative

show examples

aspects of

tourism

Use synonyms

are well recognised, sustainable exploitation from cultural and environmental points of view should be incorporated.

Submitted by takuya13sugimoto on Fri Oct 18 2024

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task achievement

Expand the introduction to provide a clearer outline of your main arguments, giving the reader a better sense of direction from the beginning.

coherence cohesion

Strengthen the coherence by ensuring smoother transitions between ideas and consistently linking back to the main question throughout the essay.

task achievement

While the essay addresses the topic well, try to integrate more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance clarity and depth of ideas.

task achievement

You provided relevant and specific examples like Bali and rituals turned into show business, which effectively illustrate your points.

coherence cohesion

Your essay consistently maintained a focus on the question of tourism's impact despite discussing different aspects.

coherence cohesion

The essay presented a clear conclusion, summarizing the main points and suggesting a solution.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economics around the world.However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults . Do you agree or disagree?

Some believe that people today have no interest in maintaining the traditional culture of their country or region. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that plastic shopping bags should be banned because they contribute to land and sea pollution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your local bookshop has invited members of the public to recommend a guest speaker for an upcoming event that will include a series of talks from well-known people.