Putting criminals into prisons is not an effective way to deal with them. Instead, education and job training should be offered. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays,some
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals prefer to take
the
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apply
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criminals
into
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to
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prisons
Fix the agreement mistake
prison
show examples
,and
the
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apply
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others tend to provide some
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
and job practices.From my own perspective,I agree with part of the point of view,and I will demonstrate the reasons. One possible approach is sending
criminals
to the
prisons
.
first
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First
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of all,it is
convenience
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convenient
show examples
for the staff to
intergrated
Correct your spelling
integrated
integrate
control,whether work or rest
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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based on a settled schedule,to develop
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
healthy habits to improve the quality of life.
Secondly
,there are
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of
criminals
,and
categorize
Verb problem
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
to diverse zones to give some punishments.
For instance
,in China,there are three kinds of
prisons
.Low
level
of alert for people who stoled or drunken driving and so on.
Middle
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The middle
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level
for
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is for
show examples
criminal
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criminals
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who can leave
the
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apply
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prison
less
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for less
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than 15 years,and
high
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the high
show examples
level
is more than 15 years or life imprisonment.
Due to
the assorts of crime and
criminals
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criminals'
criminal's
show examples
performances
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performance
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in
prisons
to have some
managements
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management
show examples
.
Otherwise
,
criminals
in
prison
can alert other citizens to obey the rules,individuals who
against
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are against
show examples
the law will be punished
consequentely
Correct your spelling
consequently
,and celebrities are no exception.
Overall
,
criminals
in
the
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apply
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prison
have
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
of advantages
undoubtfully
Correct your spelling
undoubtedly
show examples
.
However
,
for
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apply
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some
criminals
who
was
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were
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in the middle or high
level
of alert
prisons
,they out of touch with society for too long,
when
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and when
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they leave
out
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apply
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the
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apply
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prison
, they will have a high unemployment rate.Without stabilized income,they will commit a crime again in
protential
Correct your spelling
potential
.So the other alternative approach is first,to carry out some relative classes in
prison
,
for example
,teach them some laws and the significance of
follow
Wrong verb form
following
show examples
the rules.Let them regulate their own
hehaviors
Correct your spelling
behaviours
behaviour
.
Besides
,
involve
Correct subject-verb agreement
involves
show examples
some technical
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
.Each of them must practice one or two skills,
when
Correct word choice
and when
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
back into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society they will have a matching career to find their own value.
Consequently
,it is valuable to provide some education for the
criminals
. To sum it up,there are so many
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
to
put
Wrong verb form
putting
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criminals
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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prison
and
also
let
Wrong verb form
letting
show examples
them learn some rules and skills.
Make
Wrong verb form
Making
show examples
some
conbinations
Correct your spelling
combinations
between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
approaches will contribute
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
healthy and peaceful society,
moreover
,we will have a bright future.
Submitted by ysh424 on

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Language
Try to maintain consistent language and avoid spelling mistakes. For example, ensure words like 'convenient', 'integrated', and 'behaviors' are spelled correctly.
Examples
Expand your examples with more details and context. This will strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
Clarity
Be careful with sentence structure and clarity. Revise your statements to improve their clarity and ensure they convey your intended meaning.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main ideas and offers a thoughtful resolution.
Structure
You structured your essay with clear paragraphs, which helps in presenting your ideas in an organized manner.
Task Response
You address the prompt by discussing both perspectives, showing an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • recidivism
  • reintegration
  • rehabilitation
  • punitive measures
  • mindset
  • behavioral change
  • workforce preparation
  • prospects
  • reoffending
  • employment opportunities
  • socioeconomic
  • low-risk offenders
  • serious offenders
  • balance
  • productive members of society
  • economic burden
  • public safety
  • offender rehabilitation
  • transformative programs
What to do next:
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