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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many old buildings protected by law are part of nation’ s history. Some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by new ones. Do you agree or disagree?

#buildings #law #part #nation’ #history #people #ones
In
this
 day and age, the government is still guaranteeing the existence of old-fashioned structures
while
 some parts of the community are considering building
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
new ones
instead
. My essay will point out some arguments about
this
 problem. First of all, destroying old
buildings
 which are not really useless is not a completely right decision. They play an important role in containing lots of historical values and act like a cultural keeper in a particular area. Some antiquated
buildings
 in modern cities are
seemed
Verb problem
seen
show examples
 as evidence of urbanization
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
we can see the difference
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
 a city before and after advancements.
However
,
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
show examples
 old structures have some drawbacks. Citizens who live in those will deal with unqualified facilities. The infrastructure has been constructed for a long time so the frequency of
problems
Change the noun form
problem
show examples
 occurrences is higher than modern ones.
For example
, the elevator systems are old and not large enough
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 limit in delivery.
Moreover
, in another aspect, antique
buildings
also
 have some financial benefits.
Buildings
 with special architecture which contain features of a certain period can be used as an attraction. In Italy, many policies were released to conserve ingenious architecture in order to earn money from tourists who visit there. Contrastingly, the more
buildings
 remain, the more money will be spent. Every year, the government pays a big amount of funds which can raise up to over one million dollars per year for repairing and maintaining their heritage. In conclusion, continuing
use
Fix the infinitive
to use
show examples
 or
discarding
Wrong verb form
discard
show examples
 old
buildings
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 both pros and cons.
Therefore
, every decision had better be based on practical situations in certain areas before being published to the community.
Submitted by dohuyhoang on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that examples and points are clearly linked to the main thesis to establish a seamless flow of ideas.
task achievement
It's important to balance the presentation of advantages and disadvantages with equal emphasis.
coherence cohesion
Good introduction and conclusion that frame the essay effectively.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt, covering both perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Well-organized paragraphs that present a coherent argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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