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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those relate to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #university #students #study #subjects #future #relate #science #technology
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There is no denying the fact that some
people
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 believe that all university
students
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 should have a choice and decision to
study
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 what they want. Others think
students
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 must be allowed to
study
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 helpful majors for the
future
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,
such
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 as those related to science and technology.
This
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 essay will analyze both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand,
students
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 should be able to choose what they want to
study
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.
In other words
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, since it is their decision,
people
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 believe that no one should force them into anything they do not want.
For example
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, the university's
students
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 are adults and they have the right to decide what they want to be in the
future
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, writer, policeman or farmer. In the end, it is their call.
In addition
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, success can not be achieved since the
students
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 are forced to
study
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 something that they do not like.
For example
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, If someone does not like what is he doing for sure he will not
developed
Change the verb form
develop
show examples
 that thing.
On the other hand
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, allowing
people
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 to
study
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 some subjects will be helpful in the
future
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, and
people
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 should be encouraged to do so.
For instance
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,
instead
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 of completing the university course in 5 years, anyone who studies something might have a good impact on the
future
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 his education period will be 4 years only.
Moreover
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,
students
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 should know about these positions'
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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 which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 usually higher than other jobs, it is
also
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 possible to say that many
people
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 like to be sure about their income, so
this
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 thing should be explained very well to them. In conclusion, there is no easy answer to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that human beings have the right to select and decide what to want to be.
Submitted by altammar12 on

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task achievement
To strengthen your task achievement, ensure that each argument is fully developed with detailed reasoning and evidence. While your main points are clear, providing more specific examples or statistics could enhance your essay's depth.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence and cohesion by maintaining a more consistent logical flow of ideas. Ensure that transitional phrases are used to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next. Consider organizing ideas in a way that each paragraph builds upon the previous one.
coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure, align your introduction more closely with the arguments presented in the main body. Verify that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence and focuses on a single idea or related group of ideas.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a solid framework for your argument, which is commendable.
task achievement
You articulate your opinion effectively, making your stance clear in the conclusion, thereby fulfilling the essay requirement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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