Advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones in our daily lives
Today is
modern
age of science. So Add an article
the modern
mobile
Add an article
the mobile
phone
is blessing
of modern science and day by day it has Add an article
the blessing
a blessing
more
thrived. Using a mobile Correct quantifier usage
apply
phone
has many disadvantages, but we know it has a lots
of Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
benefit
.
There are several types of benefits Change to a plural noun
benefits
are
including with t. One advantage is that Unnecessary verb
apply
mobile
Correct article usage
a mobile
phone
is a good time
saverdevice
for online shopping. By using the mobile Correct your spelling
saver device
phone
we can save our
valuable Correct pronoun usage
apply
time
. Second
advantage is Change the article
The second
that
online Correct word choice
apply
class
and online Fix the agreement mistake
classes
meeting
. Almost everywhere students Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
is
using mobile Change the verb form
are
phone
for online Fix the agreement mistake
phones
class
and many employees use Fix the agreement mistake
classes
the
mobile Correct article usage
apply
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
fon
attending meetings. Correct your spelling
for
As a result
, they can save their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
time
and they can finish their another
work. Correct quantifier usage
other
Last
advantage is that using Correct article usage
The last
the
mobile Correct article usage
apply
phone
many people can book their flight Fix the agreement mistake
phones
ticket
, train Fix the agreement mistake
tickets
ticket
and so on.
On the other side, there are Fix the agreement mistake
tickets
less
disadvantages Change the quantifier
fewer
for
using The mobile Change preposition
to
phone
. First
disadvantage is thatChange the article
The first
,
the mobile Remove the comma
apply
Phone
is a risky device for Fix capitalization
phone
the
Correct article usage
apply
children
. Because of
many Change preposition
apply
children
depend on mobile phone
and Fix the agreement mistake
phones
they
play games most of the Correct pronoun usage
apply
time
. As a result
, may affect their eyes. In addition, using the
mobile Correct article usage
a
phone
can affect students' studies. By using the
mobile Correct article usage
a
phone
, children
's brain
can Fix the agreement mistake
brains
damage
. Wrong verb form
be damaged
And today's
Correct word choice
Today's
children
do not want to eat without mobile phone
and Fix the agreement mistake
phones
as a result
, they became
dependent on mobile phones. Wrong verb form
have become
Second
Correct article usage
The second
disadvantage's
is thatChange the noun form
disadvantages
disadvantage
,
Remove the comma
apply
mobile
Add an article
the mobile
phone
has many bad apps which is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
Add an article
a danger
the danger
danger
for every person Replace the word
dangerous
specially
Replace the word
especially
children
.
In conclusion, mobile
Add an article
the mobile
phone
has less
disadvantages I strongly believe that has many advantages and it is Change the quantifier
fewer
really
important device in our daily life.Add an article
a really
Submitted by mdtipusultanakhand on
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task achievement
To improve task response, try to develop a more comprehensive discussion that equally covers both advantages and disadvantages, offering more detailed examples for each point.
coherence and cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next, maintaining a logical flow of ideas. Consider organizing the essay more clearly, such as discussing all advantages in one paragraph and all disadvantages in another.
introduction/conclusion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion and summarize the key points.
task response
There is a good effort to identify both advantages and disadvantages, suggesting a balanced approach to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.