IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In most of the socities,the role of mother and father differs.what are the causes of this differences? What will be the parental role in future?

#socities #role #mother #father #differences #future
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The bar chart provides key information about
proportion
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the proportion
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 of students who are able in a foreign language in various regions. The units are measured in ratio.
Overall
, it is clear from the graph that India has the highest rate of the female around 68%.
In addition
,
the
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Romania has a significant rate of
female
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females
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 at 65% ,
whereas
of
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male
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males
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 achieve a lower ratio
by
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of
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 41%.
According to
 what is shown, Thailand has the equivalent rate of
female
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females
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 and
male
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males
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. Approximately 30%.
Moreover
,
Russia
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Russian
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of
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apply
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female
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females
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has
Wrong verb form
had
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 a slightly higher of
male
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males
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 at 42% and
for
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male
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males
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 accounted for 33%. In terms of China,
the
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apply
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female
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females
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has
Verb problem
are
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 more proficient
more
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than
male
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males
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by
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with
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 30% and
for
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apply
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men at 18%. To illustrate, we notice in all countries the female has a
considerable
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considerably
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 higher and they
are
Verb problem
apply
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effectively
understood
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understand
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the
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apply
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foreign
language
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languages
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expect
Correct your spelling
except
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the
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apply
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Thailand. Eventually, Vietnam female has a significant amount at 56% and
from
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apply
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the
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apply
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male
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males
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 they are speaking foreign
language
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languages
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 at 38%.
Submitted by raghadyaseer2015 on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure both the introduction and conclusion are well-defined to provide a complete framework for the essay. Currently, the introduction is clear, but a summarizing conclusion would enhance clarity.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive for precision in your descriptions. For example, stating "female has more proficient more than male" could be better structured as "females are more proficient than males."
complete response
The essay adequately describes the differences in foreign language proficiency between genders across different countries, fulfilling the task's requirements.
supported main points
The use of data from the bar chart enhances the points made, with specific percentages provided as evidence.
logical structure
The essay maintains a logical structure, with each paragraph focusing on different regions, which helps in understanding the data being discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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