IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You are about to move to an English-speaking country to study. You have a friend living there and you want to find a part-time job. Write a letter to your friend - Explaining your scholar plans, - Your reasons to get a part-time job, - Suggest how he/she can help you finding a job.

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Dear Peter, I have exciting news. I will be moving to
London
Use synonyms
 on a scholarship from Monash University. The scholarship was fully funded.
This
Linking Words
 meant that my accommodation and university fees were sponsored by the university. Since you are well-informed about
London
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 as you have lived here for five years, I would be
greatful
Correct your spelling
grateful
 if you could assist me with securing a part-time role in
London
Use synonyms
. I'm on a
scolarship
Correct your spelling
scholarship
 with the hopes of becoming a future
doctoe
Correct your spelling
doctor
. AS
London
Use synonyms
 has one of the top universities in the world, I chose to study there. Finding a part-time job is really important for me as it allows me to enhance the relevant skills needed to be a doctor.
For example
Linking Words
, communication skills. I could
also
Linking Words
 learn from experts in the medical field. It would be really helpful if you could email me the links of an international student trying to land their first job in a foreign country and text me any job
reccommandations
Correct your spelling
recommendations
 that I might be interested in. Thank you in advance for doing
this
Linking Words
 for me. Hopefully, we will see each other soon and have you show me around. Lots of Love, Joscelin

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task achievement
Ensure consistency in tense and spelling ('scolarship' should be 'scholarship' and 'doctoe' should be 'doctor').
coherence and cohesion
Consider separating the scholarship information and part-time job explanation into clearer, distinct paragraphs for better flow.
task achievement
The purpose of the letter is clearly stated with a friendly and polite tone throughout, appropriate for writing to a friend.
coherence and cohesion
The letter contains a logical structure with clear introductions, body, and conclusion.
greeting and closing
The closing of the letter is warm and includes expectation of meeting, which enhances the personal touch.
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