IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You are about to move to an English-speaking country to study. You have a friend living there and you want to find a part-time job. Write a letter to your friend - Explaining your scholar plans, - Your reasons to get a part-time job, - Suggest how he/she can help you finding a job.

#move #country #study #friend #job #scholar #plans
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Dear Peter, I have exciting news. I will be moving to
London
Use synonyms
 on a scholarship from Monash University. The scholarship was fully funded.
This
Linking Words
 meant that my accommodation and university fees were sponsored by the university. Since you are well-informed about
London
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 as you have lived here for five years, I would be
greatful
Correct your spelling
grateful
 if you could assist me with securing a part-time role in
London
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. I'm on a
scolarship
Correct your spelling
scholarship
 with the hopes of becoming a future
doctoe
Correct your spelling
doctor
. AS
London
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 has one of the top universities in the world, I chose to study there. Finding a part-time job is really important for me as it allows me to enhance the relevant skills needed to be a doctor.
For example
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, communication skills. I could
also
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 learn from experts in the medical field. It would be really helpful if you could email me the links of an international student trying to land their first job in a foreign country and text me any job
reccommandations
Correct your spelling
recommendations
 that I might be interested in. Thank you in advance for doing
this
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 for me. Hopefully, we will see each other soon and have you show me around. Lots of Love, Joscelin
Submitted by joscelinching on

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task achievement
Ensure consistency in tense and spelling ('scolarship' should be 'scholarship' and 'doctoe' should be 'doctor').
coherence and cohesion
Consider separating the scholarship information and part-time job explanation into clearer, distinct paragraphs for better flow.
task achievement
The purpose of the letter is clearly stated with a friendly and polite tone throughout, appropriate for writing to a friend.
coherence and cohesion
The letter contains a logical structure with clear introductions, body, and conclusion.
greeting and closing
The closing of the letter is warm and includes expectation of meeting, which enhances the personal touch.
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