Some people believe that sport is an essential part of school life for children, while others feel it should be purely optional. Discuss these opposing views and give your own opinion
Sport
Fix the agreement mistake
Sports
is
essential for Correct subject-verb agreement
are
children
Change noun form
children's
life
. Some people suggest that Fix the agreement mistake
lives
schools
should totally care of this
escape in children
routine, Change noun form
children's
while
others believe schools
are not obligated and they can just make sports
as
an Change preposition
apply
option
. This
essay agrees with the first statement and disagrees with the second one, and will gave
reasons.
On the one side, Change the verb form
give
sport
should take part of Fix the agreement mistake
sports
students
schedule in school because it Change noun form
students'
student's
helps
them stay healthy and strong, as it Correct subject-verb agreement
help
protects
from many diseases. When Correct subject-verb agreement
protect
schools
give students
movement breaks from the long sit time in classes
that causes different problems in children
bodies and makes them get bored of learning, they help Change noun form
children's
children
improve their health and socialize with students
from different classes
. For example
, football games in
Mondays support Change preposition
on
children
enhance their football skills and communicate with another team
.
On the other side, when Fix the agreement mistake
other teams
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
are
an Change the verb form
is
option
and young people choose to practice or do
not, they will not take the Unnecessary verb
apply
option
because of the discipline and hard work that are
required, there are too young Change the verb form
is
do
not know what benefits and harms that can get on them back by Correct word choice
and do
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
sports
. Additionally
, governments will not build schools
with enough spaces
and facilities for Fix the agreement mistake
space
practicipate
Correct your spelling
practising
sports
, and less
basics may lead to inequality between Change the quantifier
fewer
students
. For instance
, if there is a school with small
football court that Correct article usage
a small
carrying
only 22 players, the manager of the school will choose special Wrong verb form
carries
classes
to play and other ones can not take their chances.
In conclusion, sports
are very important for the well-being and quality life
of kids. Change preposition
of life
Shools
can contribute Correct your spelling
Schools
in
Change preposition
to
children
healthcare, Change noun form
children's
their
communication, Correct pronoun usage
apply
educational
Correct word choice
and educational
level
by providing games and Fix the agreement mistake
levels
classes
. Sports
can not be an option
because children
need to
someone to guide them to understand the advantages and disadvantages of life, as Change preposition
apply
schools
build enough spaces to become the perfect place for student
.Fix the agreement mistake
students
Submitted by danall1kat on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic, but some points could be more detailed. Expand on how sports contribute to overall student development, not just physical health, but also mental and emotional well-being.
task achievement
Try to elaborate on the opposing viewpoint as well. This will enrich the discussion and make your argument more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a logical flow, but transitions between ideas can be improved for better coherence. Use linking words like 'furthermore,' 'consequently,' and 'moreover' to enhance the readability.
coherence and cohesion
Some paragraphs could benefit from a more explicit topic sentence to guide the argument. Make sure each paragraph clearly states its main idea early on.
task achievement
A clear introduction and conclusion that frame your viewpoints well are present. This helps in providing a rounded view and makes your opinion stand out more.
task achievement
Using examples like 'football games supporting skills and communication' helps solidify your points and provides a relatable context.
coherence and cohesion
The essay logically flows from introduction to conclusion, maintaining a consistent stance on the importance of sports in schools.
coherence and cohesion
There is a good balance of discussing both sides of the argument, even though more detail is needed for the opposing view.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!