IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many jobs used to be done by hand, but nowadays an increasing number of them are done using machines instead. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this development.

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At present days, most
jobs
Use synonyms
 replaced
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
handmade
work
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by
Change preposition
with
show examples
Use synonyms
machines
Fix the agreement mistake
machine
show examples
work
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, as it is rare to see a job
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 without
machines
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. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of handmade
jobs
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 and
Use synonyms
machines
Change the noun form
machine
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jobs
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. To commence with advantages,
machines
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halp
Correct your spelling
help
 make a large number of
items
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 in a few
time
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, these
items
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produced
Add a missing verb
are produced
show examples
 without any
mistake
Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
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. These help companies get a big amount of
money
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 because of the ease
to produce
Change preposition
of producing
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 a lot of products compared to the
time
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 spent in production. As for handwork
jobs
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
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items
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 that can not repeated and everyone can buy a special piece only for them.
For example
Linking Words
, I once bought a handmade piece from an old woman in Thailand and she told me she
will
Wrong verb form
would
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 not produce another similar one because it is hard to design. When we talk about disadvantages,
machines
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 take
human's
Change noun form
human
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jobs
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 and make them suffer because they can not find a job to earn
money
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 and their daily routine gets harder. As it
mades
Correct your spelling
made
 everyone wear the same clothes and do not show their personal style. As for hand
work
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jobs
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,
this
Linking Words
 job asks for a lot of expensive materials and facilities to start a new business, which is difficult for many people.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it takes a lot of
time
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 to make one product.
For instance
Linking Words
, a person who
have
Change the verb form
has
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 a talent
in
Change preposition
for
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 making shoes but
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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need
Change the verb form
needs
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money
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 to start selling, so he
worked
Wrong verb form
works
show examples
 in
restaurant
Add an article
a restaurant
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 to earn the
nedded
Correct your spelling
needed
money
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. In conclusion,
machines
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 can benefit by providing many flawless goods in
specific
Add an article
a specific
show examples
time
Use synonyms
, but
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can harm people by taking their
jobs
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.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 it keeps everyone one looks the same without any differences.
In contrast
Linking Words
, handwork helps show
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
 personality through
made
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 special
items
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, but it costs expensive basics
to begin
Linking Words
 the
work
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.

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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, ensure that each paragraph clearly addresses a single main point with an uncomplicated flow from one to the other.
task achievement
Work on presenting more complex and varied sentence structures to convey ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the discussion appropriately.
task achievement
You provided a relevant specific example from personal experience, which supports your points well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Efficiency
  • Productivity
  • Economic growth
  • Mass production
  • Standardization
  • Job displacement
  • Skill obsolescence
  • Overreliance
  • Income inequality
  • Social mobility
  • Technological advancements
  • Manual labor
  • Continuous learning
  • Skill development
What to do next:
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