Some people think that the best way to reduce crimes is to apply longer prison sentences, other people think that there are better methods of doing so. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Most people consider extended lock-up periods
Fix the infinitive
to results
results
in Correct subject-verb agreement
result
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
crime
rate. While
,
some think there are better alternatives to reduce crimes. Remove the comma
apply
Although
,
longer sentencing for a Remove the comma
apply
crime
is one way
to go, I believe there are other ways to cope up
with felonies like improving Change preposition
apply
rehabiliation
facilities, providing more job Correct your spelling
rehabilitation
opportunies
, etc.
Correct your spelling
opportunities
Firstly
, locking up a criminal and constraining him/her within the space of four walls would not bring any changes for however
long they are sentenced. For instance
, a prisoner will never be able to understand the gravity of the situtaion
that has got him in that position if they are locked up for a long time. It would be easy to forget the offence Correct your spelling
situation
commited
and make one feel less guilty after being Correct your spelling
committed
locked-up
for a long time. Correct your spelling
locked up
In other words
, spending excessive
amount of time in prison would make one comfortable to continue living the same Add an article
an excessive
boredom
life.
Replace the word
boring
Although
, with
better facilities Change preposition
apply
such
as rehabiliation
, jobs or Correct your spelling
rehabilitation
continous
Correct your spelling
continuous
montioring
of ex-convicts is Correct your spelling
monitoring
also
a
effective Change the article
an
way
of keeping crime
at bay. For example
, in prison counseling
is an effective Change the spelling
counselling
way
in
making a person realise his guilt or what pushed him into making wrong decisions in the first place or better job Change preposition
of
availabilty
Correct your spelling
availability
at the end
of their prison term. Effective motivational talks and job opportunities are key factors that would help reduce crimes and have
a new perspective Verb problem
give
into
life.
To summarise, there are better ways to cope with Change preposition
on
crime
rather than being locked up for longer periods. In my opinion, longer lock up
periods are ineffective and looking for better alternatives and teaching humane values is a better Add a hyphen
lock-up
way
to reduce crime
.Submitted by shaunrodrigues11.01 on
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Grammar
Ensure grammatical accuracy, such as correcting 'cope up with' to simply 'cope with' or 'deal with.'
Task Response
Use more precise examples to support your arguments, such as citing studies or countries with successful rehabilitation programs.
Coherence
Enhance cohesion by using a wider variety of linking words and phrases, rather than relying on 'for instance' or 'although' repeatedly.
Introduction
The introduction clearly outlines both views and presents your own opinion effectively, which is important in discussing both sides of an argument.
Task Achievement
You provided a balanced argument and considered both perspectives, fulfilling the task requirements.
Coherence
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, aiding the reader's understanding.
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