IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the percentage of Internet users by population in the USA, Canada and Mexico between 1990 and 2009.​ Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The line graph below shows the percentage of Internet users by population in the USA, Canada and Mexico between 1990 and 2009.​ Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#line #percentage #internet #users #population #usa #canada #mexico #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The diagram depicts the information about users of
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
, through
population
Add an article
the population
a population
show examples
 in three different countries. The timeline is between 1999 and 2009.
Overall
, there are
Canada
,
Mexico
 and the
USA
 and all of them have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 trend of increase. As seen in the line graph, the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 proportion in 1999 was in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Mexico
, nearly 5%.
While
 two others had 20% and 10%, respectively. In 2001, the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of users in
Mexico
 and in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 had
rose
Change the verb form
risen
show examples
 by two times, and reached approximately 10% and 40%, respectively.
Whereas
,
index
Correct article usage
the index
show examples
 of
Canada
 improved to 30%. In
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 8 years, the results of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Mexico
were increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 by two times, despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2007, when growth was only 5%. As illustrated in the graph, in 2003
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 of
Canada
 overtook the
USA
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 almost 60%, but in 2005 they had the same
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
, nearly 70%.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
,
after
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 the index of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Canada
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 bigger and in 2009 reached
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 100%,
while
 the
USA
 had 80%.
Submitted by kozhadargulov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words canada, mexico, usa with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!