People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university?

QNowadays, an increasing number of students get confused after
graduation
if they obtain a
job
directly after school or study at a university or college, So some people assume that studying at a university is the better way to be successful in life,
while
others climate
that is
a good idea to get a
job
after
graduation
. In
this
essay, I will discuss both views and give my perspective. On the one hand, there are several reasons for getting a
job
directly after
graduation
. first and foremost, individuals who started working early may earn wages and become independent themselves.
For example
, they can build a house and have a family early.
Furthermore
, they acquire a lot of experience
as well as
they have an opportunity to work anywhere easily.
In addition
, they can learn a lot of skills
Such
as computers and, management of time.
As a result
, it is a better idea to work after
graduation
.
On the other hand
, there are numerous benefits to getting working after studying at a university or college.
Firstly
, sometimes
job
marketing requires people who have a cadmic qualification.
For instance
, a career in teaching, nursing, and engineering.
Moreover
, have options to earn higher salaries.
Consequently
, working after
graduation
is the greatest concept.
To conclude
, after analysis of both views l believe that both opinions are equally positive.
Submitted by f201501634 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay provides a well-rounded discussion of the opposing views mentioned in the introduction. Currently, the essay lightly touches on the benefits of getting a job directly and pursuing higher education, yet it could delve deeper into these points for a more comprehensive analysis.
coherence and cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more effectively to enhance coherence. Transition signals can guide readers through your arguments and link ideas more fluidly.
task achievement
Develop your main ideas further with specific examples and clear explanations. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides structure to your response.
task achievement
You effectively present two opposing views regarding the decision to work immediately after graduation or pursue higher education.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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